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Heh, thirding bidet. I'm still working through the stock of toilet paper I bought as a joke when Covid first hit and everyone was panicking about toilet paper, I bought the bidet right after that and realized I'd be taking a looong time getting through that.
It's handy for lots of other stuff too, if I ever need to quickly rinse something the bathtub's right next to the toilet so I can hold it there and give it a blast.
I remember back when people were posting pictures to shame the idiots at Costco who were panicking and buying all the toilet paper before anyone else could...
What I'm trying to say is that's a "hilarious" joke!
Toilet paper doesn't go bad.