this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2026
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
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The secret is that you have to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I remember reading that for the first time at 13 and thinking it was the smartest fucking thing I had ever read. It makes perfect sense too. Sadly my aim is impeccable.
According to catholics, that's how sex works too. Too bad they're all sharpshooters...
It's basically how orbiting works in a roundabout way. You just needed to go faster!
Very good.
I tried hiring myself out as a distraction for people just before they hit the ground but the air horn and firecrackers aren’t working, maybe I just don’t have the legs for it
Just Aim for the bushes
Tell that to a whale or bowl of petunias that suddenly materialized in the atmosphere of a planet with gravity
Not again
I almost upvoted you, then I realized you had 42 upvotes.
Now they're over, it might be time to downvote
If only Andrew Tate had the balls to recreate it irl