Ask Lemmy

37831 readers

1706 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world

TheSaneWriter@lemm.ee

TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com

Asudox@lemmy.world

lemmy_bot@lemmy.world

beefbaby182@lemmy.world

ModeratorCan@lemmy.world

neidu3@sh.itjust.works

asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev

candyman337@lemmy.world

candyman337@sh.itjust.works

How do you learn to be happy by yourself? (lemmy.zip)

submitted 13 hours ago by ramble81@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

24 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Asking for a friend. No seriously, I’m trying to figure out how to best explain this to a friend as I’m having trouble enumerating how I can do it.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago

But in general it’s just understanding what makes people happy: dopamine. And then understanding how that specific person varies from average.

Like, it’s entirely possible they keep doing all things that would make most people happy, and they’re just wired differently so it’s not working.

This is where my answer would go to. I'd extend on what you said about dopamine though in two specific directions:

Learn what drives you as an individual. Besides chemical inducements, what actions/accomplishments/behaviors give you a sense of satisfaction? For most there is some form of creative or active pursuit like artistic painting, dance, woodworking, moto racing, skydiving, sport, memorizing trivia, study of a field of science, organizing, home design, or any number of the endless activities that exist. Figure out what it is that you like doing, and do more of it.
Cut back on the chemical inducements of dopamine. If you can get the 10x-100x the dopamine hit you need from just putting a chemical in your body, the tiny bit of natural dopamine you get from a non-chemical activity won't even register with you. You'll be desensitized to the natural dopamine you get from the things you like doing. The things you like doing that would normally give you dopamine won't anymore that you'll be able to detect. This means you stop doing the things you like. So the only way you can get any measurable amount of dopamine you detect is by the chemicals.