this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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Jesus would either rock a Styer AUG or a FN P90 because they are objectively the coolest guns
I wanted to have a differing opinion, but then you said objectively, and I realized you used it right. Damn it.
I mean maybe Jesus has different criteria for firearm selection than objective coolness
I mean, the other option is a flamethrower that runs on Holy oil, so...
Look. If he’s God incarnate, then he would know what’s up. They all shoot bullets, right?
He also had some things to say about the rich so maybe he prefers a Kalashnikov
Humble but demonstrably reliable? Maybe.
But when I look at the aug? Divinity.
I was thinking a Taurus Judge....