this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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This whole thread is weird to me because being approached in public by people wanting to talk almost never happens. Not that I'm complaining exactly, it's confusing and concerning when it does, but it's hard to imagine it as such a normal thing that it has become a commonplace annoyance.
No this seems like some made up scenario. Complete bullshit, if you will. But, go off.
This seems dependant on location to me. In a region I lived before it would be rare that someone would talk to me in public like at the store, now where I'm at it happens all the time, people seem much more social in general. I used to be sort of confused when it did happen, now I'm used to it and it feels like a nice human moment when it does usually.
I don't know what it is. I used to get approached semi-regularly, maybe once every few weeks when I was younger. But this dude, for whatever reason, was approached often. I think part of it is the places he was a lot of times. We'd be out at the bar (he would lend music/PA equipment to bands or small bars for a small fee and show up to basically drink for free) and there was one night I watched it happen half a dozen times. Not by the people who were borrowing equipment, but just random people who he didn't know.
He said it never happened at like the grocery store or whatever, but very often in bars when he'd sit alone, less often in restaurants when he'd sit alone, and occasionally at the park when he'd go sit to read (headphones in). He's good looking but not extraordinarily so and never looked especially friendly so that wasn't it. It was both men and women, men more often but women more persistently.
Some folks just have something that makes others want to talk to them I guess. I imagine it's worse for women for a few reasons (the way certain demographics of dudes are socialized, not knowing how a guy will react when you shut him down, etc). And some folks seem to believe that everyone is just waiting for them to strike up a conversation, even if the person they're trying to strike it up with is obviously actively avoiding people.
It stopped happening to me. I'm not sure if I aged poorly over the pandemic or if I just look meaner these days. He moved away so I don't get to watch that particular trainwreck anymore. I'll have to ask him.
Next time you talk to him, suggest that he pick up some of those over the ear noise cancelling headphones. You don't even have to have them turned on, but the size of them makes taking them off such a visible hassle that it seems to discourage a lot of those kinds of people. And the rest you can ignore and pretend that you couldn't hear them because you had the noise cancelling on.
I already sent him one message this week!
Seriously though, this whole thing has me curious about the current state of things so I shot him a message asking about it. I'll pass it along if he still needs the advice.
LOL! What psychopath sits at the bar with earbuds in?
A psychopath that doesn't want to make a habit of drinking at the house because they know it'll become a problem but doesn't want to interact with people because they're going through shit? Possibly a psychopath that gets to drink for free because of the gear loan? A psychopath who wants to watch his gear and take it home with him rather than leaving it in a public place or with a group of drunk musicians overnight?