this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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Names and remembering (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works to c/adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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Is it a common thing for ADHD or au/ADHD people to be weird with names?

For example, I don't like my name. I don't really like when people say it either. I also rarely call other people by name unless I'm absolutely sure I know it, because getting it wrong is terrifying. I much prefer "man, bud, hey you".

People tell me its because I'm selfish and don't care about others, because I can remember every year that certain albums were released from certain bands, but I can't remember my neighbors name who talks to me maybe once every 3 months or the person I just met 5 minutes ago.

There's also those super friendly outgoing people that say your name like 5 times in a sentence, which kind of creeps me out. I know thats a salesman tactic too.

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[–] deliriousdreams@fedia.io 4 points 6 days ago

It's not just the names of people.

I'm bad at remembering those too, but I have a theory.

I noticed that sometimes my brain can open the door to the room with the information I need (a name, some nomenclature, a process, etc). When it can I can regurgitate that information pretty much ver batim.

When it can't, I have that tip of the tongue feeling and my brain rushes to alleviate that feeling because it feels like anxiety. So it will provide me with information that is tangentially related (the name of someone else who works with the person who I'm trying to name, or the name of a tool that might do something similar in another field, or the name of a place in the same region etc). But then it doubles down and sort of... overwrites the real.name with whatever the mistake name is. Upping the likelihood that I will misname that person or thing again.

I will very often know that this is happening. I will know that the name that is coming out of my mouth is wrong. But I can't seem to help myself.

This has been a problem my whole life. I don't think it's a case of no caring or being selfish. I think it's a case of brain chemistry and thought processes.

Apparently it's a well know problem with ADHD people:

https://progressivetherapyassociates.com/news-story.php?ID=69#gsc.tab=0