this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2026
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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"Ladies"
"Ladies" can come across as sleazy, imo. And sometimes you're in a situation where the class/status suggested by "lady" ends up sounding sarcastic.
"Gals" implies a level of friendship, and "dames" is too old timey.
It's a tight rope walk of sounding too familiar/formal, implying old/young, or being insulting/demeaning... I conclude that we need a new word.
I think we often forget about “young man” and “young woman.”
When someone is too young to safely call a woman, “young woman” is quite a compliment and gives her the respect of an adult anyway. If someone is just barely too old to be called a girl, they will probably find it neutral enough. And if someone is much too old to be called a girl they will appreciate it as flattery.
Hm. Calling someone young woman or young man - to my middle aged ass - means they are in trouble.
Young man/young woman, haven't your parents taught you proper manners? We eat salad with salad fork, not dessert one!
(You get the gist)
Yeah some people will have that association. But only rarely will the grammar of the situation even match that at all.
For example, let’s say you are the store manager and a customer has requested a refund. You call down to billing to see if they can hook it up, and you say “Hi, yeah this is Dave. I have a young woman here who received the wrong size shoe in her pickup order…”
There’s no way for her to interpret that as “she’s in trouble.”
In fact, to match the association you’re talking about, it pretty much has to be used in directly addressing the person. And how often do you begin a normal sentence by saying “Woman, sit tight - I’m going to get you a refund for this.”
I mean call me weird, but in both of those situations one would use "a customer" instead.
Dear customer, sit tight.
Dave, I have a customer here...
It’s an example for illustrative purposes. It illustrates the point about grammar I was making. Now you’re on another point about whether it’s even necessary to use a gendered term at all. I don’t really feel like running around in circles on this further.
I don't know how ladies slipped my mind but I have to agree with you
I guess I can see some ways that “lady” or “ladies” could sound sleazy but I’m surprised if this is someone’s first or only association. “Lady” is literally a landed title, the equivalent of “Lord,” and the highly dignified counterpart to “gentleman.”
No no, definitely not what I meant! In some circumstances, it can be sleazy (like "hey ladies").
I mean sure - when the Beastie Boys say it, they are not exactly addressing the collective women of the gentry in their area.
Especially when one of thier singles is also the song "Girls" about doing the dishes.
? That is the appropriate greeting.
Just say 'women'
To quote the earlier comment:
Yes, I read that. I also read your comment und you concluded (somewhat jokingly, I know), that 'we' need a new word for 'women'.
My, now more elaborate, response to that is, that 'we' don’t need a new word, you should learn to use the perfectly cromulent available ones.
Young women?