this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
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A lot of the time we do know, but we're terrified of getting it wrong and getting rejected and maybe worse.
One rejection in college had me pegged as a creep to the point many of my own friends stopped talking to me. All I did was ask someone to get some tea once but I guess I didn't do the mating dance right or something idk.
Was a pretty powerful lesson in seeing how people will believe what they want to believe. I guess it's the same for many of the "creeps" and "sluts" out there.
I rejected a girl in college and she went around telling everyone she could that I sexually harassed her.
She got her comeuppance and got booted out of school after she did it to other guys too, but it was terrifying for that brief window when people believed her. I'd be eating lunch and random weirdos would come up to me and go 'I KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU FUCKING CREEP!' Very few people supported me, and it was only my few closest friends, and my ex.
And even better, when I share that experience, at least 50% of the people who hear it, still think it is my fault or I'm lying. Because men are all rapists, and women are all hapless victims who never do anything bad or wrong...
after being rejected 100 times in a row for "ew gross i don't associate disabled people" when after a couple dates i let them see me take a blood pressure pill (hadn't even let them see any of my massive collection of scars except my arm and face, which i can't exactly hide without michael jacksoning) you kind of just start making fairly accurate assumptions about the women in your society
Been there. Not blaming women either, men are equally ableist.
Women and men are ableist because society as a whole is ableist.
Hahahahahahahaha hahahahaha.
That's one of those easy things for me to overshare. I take half a dozen pills daily to function. If they aren't, or at least don't know why I take them, it ain't gonna work.
The actual like, really disabling thing about me isn't any of the things I'm treated for. It's my sleep disorder. I still have to show up to my 9-5. My kid still has arrival and pickup times at school. Banks are only open 9-5.
I've found that women with treated or untreated disabilities understand this shit way more than normies. That's not to say go look for them, but don't try to fit into an ablist mask, that's far more harmful
it took me so so long to learn that one
Wouldn't be better to do it on the first date?
there are better ways to vet potential dates