this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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Showerthoughts

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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The most popular seem to be lighthearted clever little truths, hidden in daily life.

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As an immigrant I wonder a lot about the alternate timeline where I never migrated... I wonder if kids who got adopted feel a similar way... the "what if I got different parents" timeline... (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 4 days ago by DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works to c/showerthoughts@lemmy.world
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I mean its bascially the same principle.

Immigrants get "adopted" by a country

Just as Orphans get adopted by prospective parents

Then you get the International Adoptions which is bascially both combined... those probably have the most identity crisis...

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[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

My mom died when I was in middle school. She was the taskmaster parent and my dad treated me basically like a roommate, so I was way more independent in high school and beyond than I would have been if she had lived. I see the ghost of the timeline in which things were different. I think that happens for any huge changes in life.

I’m an immigrant in Germany and moved here about a decade after I studied abroad here. I don’t think I would have been allowed/able to study abroad, especially under the circumstances (I failed German, after getting a 95 and a 98 on the midterm and final, respectively, because I didn’t do the homework), so I don’t think I would have been able to come here and become a German as a second language teacher without prior immersion. My life would look very different, and I’d probably be leaning into my Spanish a lot more to try to emigrate to a Spanish speaking country, if I were even thinking about leaving.

My mom was a republican, but I don’t know if she would have followed my dad down the Fox News wormhole or if she would have pulled him out of it. I think if she snapped out of it, but couldn’t snap him out of the maga hypnosis, she might have left him, which would probably have set my dad on a very unpleasant path.

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago

Jesus christ. I sorry to hear that.

This makes me appreciate my parents even more. I mean at least they're more of the "status quo" type of people and not extremists.

I remember cuddling with mom a lot... and I felt very warm and safe when I sleep with parents when I was younger...

I wonder how much did my mother's affection changed me...

Did I get more "soft" because of that?

Like I have a weird emotional attachment to my mom who says mean things to me a lot...

So I essentially feel very vulnerable and need my mom to validate my existence.

I wonder... what if my mom was more "cold" towards me... or like died? would I have just grown more independent? But conversely that also makes me more deprived of love and that doesn't go well... I might've become a more aggressive person...

But my mom is so like ambivalent towards me that I essentially have two personalities. Sometimes I'm just in rage... other times I feel so timid I wanna be a kid again...

Did my mom's ambivalent affection helped or harmed me?

I mean dad doesn't even show affection at all.

I mean I guess now in this timeline... I've felt what cuddling feels like... so I could pass on this feeling to the next generation, but without the other side, the negative side, of it (the random "bipolar mode" yelling at me)