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this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
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I used to be a funeral director. The majority of outsiders were unaware of pretty much everything we did. Often on purpose because thinking of death is uncomfortable.
The biggest "secret" is probably that the modern funeral was invented by companies the same way diamond engagement rings were. For thousands of years the only people who had public funerals were rich and famous. It was the death of Abraham Lincoln that sparked the funeral industry to sell "famous people funerals at a reasonable price". You too could give your loved one a presidential send off! The funeral industry still plays into this hard, and I've found many people are simply guilt tripped by society to have a public funeral.
Donate my body to the worst medical student in the ~~collage~~ college. I'll definitely be an F level carcass.
I did my cadaver dissection last year in medical school, and you'll probably be a better cadaver than you think. The worst one to deal with in the class was in the tank next to ours. The cadaver was 102 years old at time of death without a scrap of fat anywhere. The muscles dried out and fell apart almost immediately on dissection, and started growing mold over the winter break. The lab manager had to keep removing portions of the cadaver to try to limit the spread of the mold until all that group was left with was a head in a bucket of formaldehyde. The head, neck, and brain were the last dissections we did, so it worked out okay-ish, but I will never forget the absurdity of them ending up like a Futurama president.
That's the beauty of micro-plastics, my corpse will have a great shelf life
You're saying lean people make bad cadavers?
If they are very lean, yeah, it can be a problem. Having a bit of adipose to absorb some of the formaldehyde and retain some moisture helps to keep the tissues from drying out. Once the body tissues dry out, they're basically mummified and dissecting them would be about as useful and easy as dissecting jerky.
For no reason whatsoever: if you received an email, activated by a dead man's switch, that told you that the body coming in next buried treasure which you could find by solving a series of riddles, the first of which is respond to the email with what gum flavor was swallowed last, would you?