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submitted 11 months ago by Pastaguini@hexbear.net to c/movies@hexbear.net

Joaquin Phoenix gives the absolute worst performance of his career as Napoleon Buonaparte, choosing to portray one of history’s most famously charismatic leaders, as a wooden cutout. No movie these days would be complete without Reddit/Marvel-tier quipped dialogue, and this screenplay provides it in spades. Many of the events that would naturally adapt to the big screen are skipped in favor of shots of Phoenix crawling under tables like some fucked up dog. No mention is made of Italy, and Spain and Haiti are skipped over as to avoid portraying the subject in any kind of negative light. Irresponsible and reactionary filmmaking shines through in a script that truly feels like it was written by chatgpt. The film concludes with him suddenly dying in a part that reminded me of the poochy “my planet needs me” bit. Do not waste your time. I was expecting a cheesy Hollywood retelling and it didn’t even do that, despite having more than enough source material to do so.

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[-] Tervell@hexbear.net 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

One of the worst things about this is that Ridley did make an absolutely amazing Napoleonic Era movie - his first one, The Duellists. He knocked it out of the park with literally his first one, and now we've gotten to “When I have issues with historians, I ask: ‘Excuse me, mate, were you there? No? Well, shut the fuck up then.’” (like, my guy, how the fuck do you think history works? "were you there", what kind of retort is this even)

[-] Tachanka@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago

When I have issues with historians, I ask: ‘Excuse me, mate, were you there? No? Well, shut the fuck up then.

the soyjak "i studied this for my entire career"

vs. the chad "did you see the big bang? didn't think so"

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago

“When I have issues with historians, I ask: ‘Excuse me, mate, were you there? No? Well, shut the fuck up then.’”

Ridley Scott talks like a Redditor. smuglord farquaad-point

[-] Vncredleader@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago

Also we fucking have so many personal accounts of the guy. Everyone who shook his hand wrote a memoir about it

[-] NewAcctWhoDis@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

From another of his recent interviews

‘I think we’ve been monitored for years!’ roars Scott. ‘How did the Egyptians build the pyramids? Rolling 20-tonne stones on logs? F*** off!’

‘We’ve got to step on this shit now, and move forward with incredibly tight constraints. If I design an AI, then tell it to design another one even smarter, what’s next? It could close down England, the internet, [drop] a hydrogen bomb. The compound interest is scary.’

[-] LordBullingdon@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The Duellists is up there with Barry Lyndon as one of the all time historical movies. I love the scene where the two characters meet during the retreat out of Russia and they can’t even be fucked duelling because of how miserable the situation is. And the last duel, where the old legionaries turn up wearing their hats and uniforms and seem like some relic from the distant past. I think a lot of film directors are like rock stars, once they lose the hunger and are just doing their job rather than creating art their work really suffers.

this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
116 points (100.0% liked)

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