Zoift

joined 4 years ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

These little fuckers are both a bane of my garden, and the reason i've made such good friends with the crows.

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

Fairly sure thats a porty-potty/ porta-loo/chemical toilet. They are all horror movie sets in their own way

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ok, so i actually saw this IRL once, Story Time! CW for nasty

spoilerSo I work for a godforsaken ambulance company, got a call out to a truely shitty nursing home for "Patient Sick".

We get there and it's this poor shell of a man, bed-bound, demented, and obviously septic as all fuck. He has contractions, a full catheter and doesnt respond to voice; he's obviously been bed bound for a long time, not in the best care, and we aint getting a story out of him.

So we ask his nurse what's going on with him, whats his medical history, ect, and she doesnt know much, says she just took over care for this patient, just got on shift but "The night nurse said he's fartin' out his dick".

Whelp. I know when im being fucked with. Nope, no further questions, just gimme the transfer packet with his info. We load the guy up and wheel him to the truck, get vitals & get him an IV, take him to the nearest hospital on a sepsis alert, all routine stuff, but as we're transporting i'm going through his packet and see this guy had gotten out of surgery for a small bowel obstruction last month. Poor fucker cant catch a break.

We get to the hospital, and we get him a bed in the ER, and i start giving the report to the ER nurse, mention he's supposedly got a chief complaint of Dick Farts. Everyone laughs, funny joke joker-troll

Two days later I'm back at the same hospital dropping off another patient to the same nurse and ask her if she heard any follow-up on the dick-fart-guy.

"Oh him, Ha, oh fuck. Yeah he was actually farting out his dick. He got transferred to the OR. You could see the little bubbles in the cath tube."

His recent GI surgery had left a perferation that formed a tiny fistula to his bladder he had been slowly leaking gas through, and gave him a UTI that progressed to sepsis. He made it through from what i heard.

So yeah, that can in-fact happen

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

If it was only a sip, you should be alright, small bit of gas maybe.

If it was a full glass of bean-water you're gonna want to get some activated charcoal and a whole lot of gatorade.

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

I was reaching up a GI the other day actually.

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

DMT is pretty neat, very interesting ride, can find out some things about yourself, meet 4D fractal megabeasts in conversation, become flayed across time to become an art gallery for god. Unpredictable, but so are dreams, and you're smoking dream crystals.

Dont know of a single hallucinogen that is addictive, quite unlike cocaine.

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Kayfabe is fickle, but his time will come again

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

The concept is nice, but its a little lonely. What if we anthropomorphized the shame and discomfort that the clown-burgers provides as a purple, clay-lumped grotesque? Something the kids can really relate to.

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I know you are here to grill me. Chew, coward, you are only going to vore a man.

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cause black holes don't gravitate, but the event horizon does. Black holes dont really have volume in a way thats meaningful to us, but they do have a surface area, and thats what you can interact with.

You're correct anything past an event horizon cannot interact with us, for all intents and purposes it doesnt exist. So all the interactions you associate with a black hole are interactions with the event horizon itself.

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Gooning this" & "gooning that", read the literature liberals. Whacking off is solved theory, Just build a metal & wood veneer box to jack it in. Orgone theory has already spelled all this out for over 100 years.

 

Apologies to XHS, if only you had been warned sadness

 

???

 

Piggybacking on @Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net's post. If we're doing OG Simcity emojis, the Game Over screen goes hard.

 

I seriously cannot tell if i'm enjoying this. Someone else needs to be subjected to this. Should railroad this through as a movienight interstitial.

 

Fuck phones. What overpriced POS should i get as replacement?

 

~~Cytube is being naughty, rerouting to the old cytube until it starts playing the files i give it.~~

Cytube lives? If it shits the bed again, backup Here


Collateral(2004) - Its like "Phonebooth"(2002) meets "The Transporter"(2002), also I havent seen it, but its clearly that.

CWs- Violence, mild woogin'

IMDB Guide

DoestheDogDie?


The Northman(2022) - Shameless Game of Thrones cash-in, smdh

CWs- Violence, Animal abuse, SA, Drug use, Child abuse, Its a viking movie, Chuds probably love this

IMDB Guide

DoestheDogDie


BONUS! Bonnie and Clyde(1967) - Relationship goalz

CWs - Violence, Woogin', So many cops die 070707

IMDB Guide

DoestheDogDie?


Probably getting off work late tonight, may have to ask one of the cytube crew to queue it up.

Links-

Collateral

The Northman

BonnieandClyde

 

Ooooweeee we got some crime dramas tonight!


The Sting(1973) - It's like the Godfather with more slapstick humor & ragtime music.

CWs- Violence, Woogin, racial slurs

IMDB Guide

DoestheDogDie?


Rope(1948) - Cluedo, the movie!

CWs- Mild violence, alcoholism

IMDB Guide

DoestheDogDie?


Also, in bad news, my work schedule is changing. I'm working every Friday now through the showtimes. Things have been stacking up in my personal life for a minute & I'm worried I wont be able to give the movie nights the attention they need. I'm going to try to finish out September, but offically looking for volunteers. Will pester the rest of the cytube crew about it later tonight.

 

Django(1966)(Not the Tarentino one) - Cowboys kill Klanners.

CWs- Violence, Torture, Wooging, Looting, Tooting, Cowboy Shooting

IMDB Guide

Does the Dog Die?


Akira(1988) - OG movie night movie; Boy fights esper manbabies, the illuminati, and cumbears.

CWs- Violence, Gore, SA, Body Horror, a dog does in-fact die

IMDB Guide

Does the Dog Die


Happy Together(1997) - boykisser

CWs- Seggs, Woogin, Dead animals

IMDB Guide

Does the Dog Die?


Having a bit of trouble sourcing everything this month. If you feel like volunteering sourcing or coverting video codecs, DM me. Otherwise I mayyyyyy end up doing the Tremors septology.

 

Morning everyone. Posting this way early. Will ping closer to showtime.


Breaking Bad(2010): Season 3, Episode 12 - We're not supposed to do this anymore.

Breaking Bad(2010): Season 3, Episode 13 - William H. Pitsenbarger Jr. gets owned by the Viet Cong so hard they give him a medal over it to feel better.

CWs- Violence, Sex work, Drug use, Waltah

IMDB Guides 1 & 2


Godzilla(1954) - Kaiju Night again. Been awhile.

CWs- Camp violence, Lizard

IMDB Guide

DoestheDogDie


See you there. Love you all.

20
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Zoift@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
 

She is beautiful and i love her.

 

MOVIE time again. How is this year passing so fast? This is bullshit, i barely wasted this year at all. Anyways...


Voting open for the 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd, & 29th. Taking top voted nominates (depending on piracy success) for two movies each Friday. Maybe a third if it fits the theme or is really good/bad.

Pre-hosted nominations get extra weight becuase its less work. Dubs preferred over subs because Cytube is indignent about playing subtitle files without heavy cajoling. If it’s currently in theaters or on a streaming service its usually an pain in the ass to find a good torrent in time, but ill look for it anyways because fuck copyright.

Shout out to the Cytube crew, our many haters & losers, and to viewers like YOU.

 

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/431481

I recently inherited a chicken coop & small flock from a friend that had to give them up. They've got a big-ass yard to forage in with lots of grass, tree cover, and all the pumpkin plants they can destroy because i wasnt planning on having chickens when i planted them. Still learning birdcare, but half of them have learned to love headpets and are as fat & happy as I can keep them.

However they've also attracted rat snakes & racer snakes to the coop. None of the snakes in my area are big enough to eat a full grown chicken, but it's stressing the chickens out and they keep trying to eat the eggs.

I dont wanna hurt any of the snakes, they're adorable and dopey, but im grabbing a 4 foot frightened snake out of the coop everynight. I keep sealing up new gaps and they keep showing me new ones. Its getting kinda old & I'm starting to wonder if its a different snake every night or just a few really persistent lil guys.

Is there a way to get them to fuck off? And how do biologists tag snakes? Is there like, a little thing i can clip into a scale or is it safe to hit them with a dab of paint or something? Cause if its just the same 2 dumbasses i keep greeting everynight i can just drive them to a nearby lake what i imagine snake heaven would be.

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