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What is bothering you right now? (lemmy.world)
submitted 11 months ago by BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
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We’re autistic, and one of the characteristics of being autistic is that we feel things deeply. On the positive side, when we are happy, we feel immense joy compared to others. On the negative side, we feel painful emotions more strongly than others as well. Because of this, many of us have been invalidated, insulted, or pushed away when all we were wanting was to share what we were going through and get support. Maybe even a really tight hug and someone telling us that it makes sense that we feel that way.

While we can’t give hugs, we can help each other by sharing our pain and having others help us through it. So here is that post. What’s bothering you? Why? Tell us.

Note 1: Sort by New to see the most recent posts.

Note 2: This post in particular will be especially moderated in terms of trolling, abusive, derogatory, offensive, disrespectful, invalidating, accusatory, or antagonizing responses to a user's pain. If your response is removed by mods, but you think you make a valid point, try rephrasing it in a compassionate manner that is not dismissing or accusatory.

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[-] IvyRaven@midwest.social 5 points 11 months ago

All issues are valid and the level of seriousness is always the same because it's what impacts you. So don't put yourself or your issues down because someone else is 'worse off'.

I'm kind of like you in the relationship thing. I'm almost 40 and I can't date for a multitude of reasons. You're not lesser or inferior or anything else for not dating.

[-] savvywolf@pawb.social 3 points 11 months ago

Thanks for the reply. I understand that I shouldn't dismiss my own feelings and problems just because they aren't "important". But at the same time, I don't really feel comfortable claiming that my issues are anywhere near as serious as people that are facing problems like abuse and potential loss of housing or life.

And I get that I'm not less of a person having never dated anyone (and I don't think people should be pressured into having relationships for the sake of it). But at the same time, there's so much I want to explore relating to it and it feels super frustrating to not be able to do so due to my life situation.

[-] IvyRaven@midwest.social 3 points 11 months ago

All struggles being 'equal' seems weird and hard to accept, but it's important to do so. You aren't going through what someone else is going through nor are they going through what you're going through. Both things exist at the same time and have the same weight to them. Sure society will claim one should suck it up or whatever but that is just toxic and meant to keep people down. I'm not going to change your mind since that is something you have to do from your end. But I did want to offer it up that you can have your problems and they're equally as important as those of someone else. This kind of thinking was a big shift for myself way back and I got my mom to shift her thinking too and it's just all around a good change.

Well remember that it's your choice if you do or do not do something. This is true of dating, job(s), friend(s) etc. If you're not in a place where you feel you can have a relationship that's okay. The future may change that for you and it may not. While that isn't the most... warm of sentiments it has to be said. Most people don't really care about what it is that we feel should hold us back from doing something like dating. Don't let it get you down instead go at your own pace and make the decision yourself.

this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
63 points (100.0% liked)

Autism

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