938

drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i'll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

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[-] Jerkface@lemmy.world 83 points 11 months ago

It's also called a whore bath. He might just be a whore.

[-] frosty99c@midwest.social 88 points 11 months ago

A friend of mine is a non-native English speaker. He teaches at an elementary school and works with 'English as a second language' students. He casually mentioned that he always tells his students to take a 'horse bath' in the bathroom sink after recess if needed. He was traumatized when I told him that he'd misheard that phrase for his entire adult life.

[-] Jerkface@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago

That story's as spicy as whore's radish!

[-] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 14 points 11 months ago

Well, he shouldn't look a gift whore's mouth.

[-] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 26 points 11 months ago

I'm a whore expert and concur with this diagnosis.

[-] Default_Defect@midwest.social 15 points 11 months ago

Dad? When are you coming home?

[-] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Soon. Any day now.

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 21 points 11 months ago

Reminds me of a snippet of conversation I overheard at the grocery. Kid’s talking to their mom and yells “child prostitution, ever heard of it?” She was pissed.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

"IT'S REAL WORK MOM"

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 11 months ago

Daaaaaaaayyyuuuummm, I wonder what was the chatter before the kid yelled that

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

I was split between the kid problem solving their personal money issues, or unintentionally acting obtuse with a word they’ve only heard in passing. Sadly, we’ll never know as my partner felt disinclined toward listening in any further.

[-] somethingsnappy@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

We always called it military shower.

[-] klemptor@startrek.website 4 points 11 months ago

I thought that was just pits and bits?

this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
938 points (96.4% liked)

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