Years ago my dad made a change at work. He was working in the wood shop at a factory, making cabinetry and such with wood. For a few bucks more an hour he could take a job doing something mindless and slow, and he needed the money.

Fast forward 6 mo and he can't go back to the old job, but this one is so boring that he's beyond hating it: he actually vomits before every shift because he just doesn't want to go but he has to.

We moved and he sold fucking lawnmowers for about 6 years.

But we moved. And he changed; and later he got a job as a groundskeeper and that was awesome for him because in the downtime he could do anything he liked onsite. He built cabinets and renovated the work areas and basically everything he used to do.

Don't cry yourself to sleep. When you get that random occasional burst of energy, I hope you remember tonfocus on "this sucks. What do I want to do instead" and then "okay how do i escape this shit and get there" and then keep breaking down each step into what is possible.

Get there.