this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2023
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Memes

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[–] RembrandtQEinstein@lemmy.world 61 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 33 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It’s called a brojob and it’s totally straight if your eyes are closed

[–] Wild_Mastic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

You should also wear socks just in case

[–] Pinklink@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I let you jerk me off, and you make fun of my tiny dick. Yeah sure, that seems fair

[–] TheRedSpade@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Sorry, I thought you were into that.

[–] ShartyWaffles@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My hands are full of penis, and I’m already in heaven.

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago

Imagine ejaculating out of all 10 of your handpenises simultaneously

[–] Little8Lost@feddit.de 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

that means womans have to get lesbians to avoid penises, got it

[–] Nepenthe@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Depending. Women jack off a hell of a lot after you roll over

[–] diskmaster23@lemmy.one 1 points 2 years ago

I like to help my lady after I finish. 🤌

[–] liss_up@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 years ago

So female masturbation is still sanctified. Got it. Let me just go ahead and close the door and turn on this white noise machine......

[–] Soundhole@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

What if it's Jesus' penis?

[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] rbhfd@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Mark 9:13

Jesus replied, "Elijah does indeed come, and he will restore all things. But I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but have done to him whatever they wished. In the same way, the Son of Man will suffer at their hands."

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago

That would be great. You'll have 3 whole days to climb until he rises again.

[–] darcy@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 years ago
[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 years ago

They've apparently never met a one armed roofer.

Shout out to my cousin Randy!

[–] yak@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 years ago

40 days and 40 nights in the desert with no food and you reckon Jesus didn't rub one out to lift his mood, yeah, OK

[–] Ryantific_theory@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

What if you wanted to go to heaven

But god said "your hands are full of penis."

[–] Elephant0991@lemmy.bleh.au 8 points 2 years ago

Yes! Release first. The stickiness will help.

[–] SteveXVII@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 years ago

But what if you occasionally take a break from climbing the ladder to heaven, with your hands full of penis?

[–] cooopsspace@infosec.pub 6 points 2 years ago

Wait until the pedo priests head about this.

[–] collegefurtrader@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I should stop boiling my semen, they are beginning to notice

[–] AccountMaker@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 years ago

Refrain, or course, from masturbation and excessive handling of the sex organs. A two shake limit during urination is in effect.

I have a very very hard time believing that this is serious, but sadly I'm not fully convinced that it is not

[–] MrSilkworm@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 2 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=QkF3oxziUI4&pp=ygUZc3RhaXdheSB0byBoZWF2ZW4geW91dHViZQ

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 years ago

Even if you were a perfectly efficient ladder climbing robot, you still would not stand a chance climbing the ladder to heaven because of a little thing called specific impulse, which you woefully lack and this other little thing called heaven, hell and god aren't real they were invented by humans to give false hope to other humans and through that false hope control other humans and also get wrecked theists

[–] masquenox@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You have to climb a ladder to get to heaven now?

Since when?

[–] Nepenthe@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

There is Jacob's ladder in the bible, a prophetic dream sequence with various interpretations.

Jacob's ladder the decorative body piercing is probably not what this meme had in mind, nor is it something you really wanna google at work for porn reasons, but it seems more fun to climb than their idea.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Well that website was fun lol.

[–] radioactiveradio@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

I have pocket to put all my penises in, god can't stop me.

[–] diskmaster23@lemmy.one 2 points 2 years ago

No American is gonna be able to climb that. So many fat people.

[–] Space_Jamke@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

Of course not, helping priests climb to heaven is the altar boy's job.

[–] Pixlbabble@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

It works for some women tho