Thank you all for the support yesterday. Reading your messages helped me feel so much better.

Yesterday one of my friends drove half an hour to go for a walk with me (which is more than bar guy would've ever done). Then we went to the shops and tried on clothes. Afterwards, we met up with a mutual friend and her friends. The friends were so nice. They gave me really nice hugs, made me punch pillows, talked to me empathetically, bought me KFC because I hadn't eaten all day, and then we drove to the beach. This experience has shown me that I can do so much better, as someone who hasn't had a good time socially.

Not getting closure in person and feeling the loss absolutely sucks. It's going to be sad for a bit. He didn't even fight for me! I had guys who I'd only been on a few dates with wanting to talk it out and try to problem solve. I should've left months ago at my first sign of doubt. But there's nothing I can do now. Now I know that I need to listen to what my body is telling me, because maybe it isn't all that shit. I shouldn't have to cry 30+ times just in a month because that is not normal (yep I have a crying tally whoops).

I also feel fucking relieved. Good riddance. I don't have to beg for someone to show up for me anymore.

Switching to an Aussie name worked. I'm getting a lot of callbacks and interviews being scheduled.

It is what it is I guess.

Goodnight all ❤️

Feeling depressed. The cold and dark sucks. Cost of living sucks. Need a holiday but can’t afford one. Going to take a week off work in a few months but it’s not the same as going somewhere and getting away from it all. Pet boarding would cost heaps so even cheap isn’t on the cards. Health is shite also (cfs etc) which makes it hard to plan and do stuff.

Tax cuts sounded great til I got a land tax bill that had doubled because it’s how Dan andrew’s is paying back the Covid payout debts. (It had a nice letter with it to explain that). And I know there’s people who are in very very shit circumstances compared to me, so self compassion isn’t a thing.

COVID and my period!? What else? What else Universe!?

WHINGE WHINE WAH

**Trigger Warning: corriander

I've been out enjoying the lovely weather in the garden and am pleased to report that the late planting of corriander last year has successfully self-seeded and I now have a patch of baby corriander. There is also a bit of self-seeded lettuce popping up, and my bok-choy mustard hybrids are going well now the weather has cooled down.

I've also planted some snow pea seeds and will cross my fingers they don't get eaten before they manage to grow.

Sometimes I feel so Groundhog Day. Each day merges into the next and the next. But unlike the movie there’s no magic trick to break the spell. Sleep eat work tv housework weekday weekend repeat.

Woop, this time it seems to be my turn to have eaten something that overstayed its welcome. Not sure if it was the rice or the dal. Probably the dal, it's lasted a week. Burping like crazy and feeling a few stabs in the gut. Usually my gut is fairly durable with old food, but it's been a little weird lately... handling coffee well again? But back to the burping? Hmmm...

E: I started using my new undated planner which has a "brain dump" section before every 7 days, to unload everything into a list and then assign a priority, and a date to do it by. Then I can pre-fill days in advance and each day has a "3 most important tasks" section to filter out the crucial items. I hope this will help with my life organisation, I think it works with my brain.

I've put the oven on, I'm making banana honey bread and roasting a chicken for dinner. :)

Today begun explosively sneezing blood. Yay…..

I think I will do one week self care and self organising, then next week doing some stuff around the house and garden. 😊👍

Project day today! My nerdy electronics from that dodgy place that doesn't do refunds for mixing deliveries arrived today. Finally got around to fixing the boot errors windows was having. It seems it decided to do an update I never asked for and screwed up its boot file. I had to download the 6gb iso and flash it onto a hard drive to get a working command prompt, but it rebuilt the file no worries

6.15am, sleepy wife in passenger seat.

Halfway through a left turn, the guy behind me honks.

So as a petty revenge, I did 40 in a 50 zone. Guy behind flashes headlights.

Eventually the guy overtook us. My wife and I looked at the guy. Staring back at us was a possibly 19 year old green P Asian male in command of an MG HS.

the mornings and evenings in autumn are so full of bird song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=or5k7QKOY5Y

so you know that "add extra member" option on Netflix to add someone outside your houselhold....when you add them (and pay, and provide their email etc), do they log in via their email and my password? or do they get a login request email where they log in with their email, and then get asked to set a password....? asking for a very tech illierate sister in law living in another state....(as in not really able to forward any email on to me) - can't find this on the website

@Seagoon_ I really should be going to bed sometime right about now, yet I'm still procrastinating about doing the dishes...

Thumb wound day two. Not so bad. Was pretty concerned how long it bled for yesterday but now not bleeding, looks much better

spoiler

Dammit. I hate this cold.

Getting back drip into my throat and it’s making me cough all day long and it doesn’t sound nice at all, like a frog dying or something.

What’s worse is that it’s keeping me from sleeping too waking up to coughing fits because whatever is in my throat is tickling it and making it dry.

I was looking up herbicide and came across this product

80 mins until my alarm. Do I try to go back to sleep or just give up and get up?

Man, this original X-Men cartoon from the 90's is seriously not for kids. Glad they've added new episodes this year but yeah it's pretty intense.

COVID nightmares are wild

Response to Seagoon: I bought codral, not Sudafed, so that's prolly why my nose is swollen. I should have bought Sudafed, or spoken to a chemist for the good shit (codeine)