this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 150 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Nah, I don't mind small talk. Small talk is fine. It's easy, you just smile a bit, and say hi and make a joke about whatever the other guy said.

It's the mid-size talk I can't deal with. The kind of talk where the other person is just giving you clichés of normie chatter about politics you disagree with or car culture or reality shows and you're supposed to just... keep providing valid responses and appear interested. I don't see what's small about that and it's excruciating.

[–] ArcticPrincess@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Nah, that's great because you can so easily escalate to heavy talk. Disagree with the political opinion. Insist car culture is just pointless fashion fads. Dive into the morality of reality TV.

Either they disengage and you're free, or you get to have an actual meaningful debate instead of echoing hollow platitudes.

[–] Rinox@feddit.it 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thing is, I just don't care about your political opinion or your preferred fashion fad. I'm not going to either agree or disagree with you, I just don't care about you and now that you keep talking I'm actively disliking you.

I'm not going to engage in stupid pointless arguments, especially with someone I have to work with again. I'm just going to smile, nod and leave.

Yup. If you’re not in the circle (dot), I don’t care enough to do anything but exit at first opportunity while, at best, maintaining that same level of indifference. The longer you talk, the less chance of that happening.

[–] skulblaka@startrek.website 3 points 1 year ago

While I definitely agree with this and encourage it, most often this happens at work. I got shit to do, I don't have the time to debate politics with a random customer. Sometimes I'd love to, and some rare times I actually get to have a good long conversation with someone like that, but 99% of the time I really want you to just shut up so I can keep it moving. No matter how much I want to tell someone that Game of Thrones was a genuinely good show for 80% of its runtime, or that Joe Biden isn't the literal devil.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 year ago

I found this got easier as I got more comfortable with my own eccentricities, but it's still draining after a while. I've just had to accept that some conversations will just not go well for me.

I think it's one of the reasons a house party can be so draining, but a little dinner date can go down smooth - because the of the depth of the conversation you describe.

[–] ScruffyDucky@lemmy.world 57 points 1 year ago

"They pick 2 people..." only as a backup in case one of them dies

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 55 points 1 year ago (2 children)

People are always really surprised whenever I give a presentation or something. I can actually be quite eloquent. I just choose not to be, most of the time.

[–] quicksand@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

I'm the same way. It's funny seeing people's reactions when I "turn it on"

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Haha you just were be eloquent

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 48 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Two people? No I'm greedy, I need three so we have enough for boardgames.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hate games that assume I have my shit together enough to know 3 other people.

[–] Avg@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Pokemon and some gameboy zeldas were not enjoyed to the fullest extent because I needed to not only have friends but friends with different versions of the game.

[–] skulblaka@startrek.website 5 points 1 year ago
  1. Friends
  2. Friends with different versions
  3. Friends with different versions who own link cables

I was like three steps removed from being able to evolve my Kadabra. I think I met one kid ever who had a link cable.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's the Pokemon Ultraviolet ROM hack for Fire Red that removes having friends as an requirement to 100%.

[–] Avg@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm way older than that son, I had pokemon red and later on yellow.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 1 points 1 year ago

Theirs a few out their for the older games too. I learned how to read playing yellow...

[–] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's what Sven in the basement is for. I assume his name is Sven. Might ask him sometime.

[–] DaBabyAteMaDingo@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I feel so represented right now lol

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fucking seriously. I literally have 2 good friends and I don't go looking to add more because conversation is exhausting.

I have two modes of talking: complaining and explaining something. Sometimes those are both the same lol

I have two modes of talking: complaining and explaining something. Sometimes those are both the same lol

Holy shit this is perfect and beautiful. Cheers

[–] DaBabyAteMaDingo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

90% of my voice messages to my partner are literally that. The other 10% is about cats I happen to come across.

[–] wide_eyed_stupid@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Likewise.

I just enjoy being alone a lot. Not lonely; alone. I love being alone, or at the very least left alone. Makes me feel relaxed and peaceful. I barely have enough to give one person, let alone a whole bunch of them.

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 year ago

Precisely my feeling reading that.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Y'all are getting two people to share your life story with? That sounds exhausting.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's being someone's ONLY person that sounds exhausting to me. What if they need support and I'm out of energy? Or vice versa? Rather distribute it between about three people.

[–] skulblaka@startrek.website 3 points 1 year ago

Seriously, this is a valid point. Introverts, please at least try to have more than a single friend. It's hard, I know, I'm one of you. But I've also been someone else's only friend and sometimes you just can't be there when they need you. It doesn't mean they love you any less but each person is the main character of their own story, not yours, and sometimes you can't be the focus of today's chapter. Having more than one person you can lean on will be better for you and better for each of those friends and it'll help you keep friends longer.

[–] johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I honestly don't think there's any binary introvert/extrovert trait, and that lots of people combine different traits of introversion and extroversion.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's just a stupid stereotype some idiot created and people bought into.

I can get behind it as a broad way of classifying personalities, but when people treat it as a whole package deal of different traits it just feels like horoscopes to me.

[–] rjthyen@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

By this definition I'd be closer to an introvert, but compared to my wife I'm extrovert as fuck. Would definitely say there is no hard rule.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

It's a spectrum for sure

[–] Armok_the_bunny@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Sounds like you're just an introvert to me, that's pretty typical of introverts from what I've seen.

[–] metalcatknight@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

We're like cats.

[–] jackalope@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] nifty@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don’t me mad because no one made you their 1 of 2 :p

[–] Norgur@fedia.io 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Goes for every "look how introvert I am and how my 'batteries' drain by the word" post...

[–] ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Was gonna make a good reply to this but i ran out of energy and now my day is ruined

[–] Norgur@fedia.io 3 points 1 year ago

Get a solar panel tattoo! Works wonders!

[–] unreachable@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

INFP = I Need Four People

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Damn, I'm one short.

[–] mrgreyeyes@feddit.nl 3 points 1 year ago

"You eeuwwwe me"

My new catchphrase.

[–] MonkderDritte@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

No, not a lot.

[–] MBM@lemmings.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I always suspected I'm not a real introvert

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago

Why do you say that?