I live in a rural area, and my various vocations often required me to be out and about in the wee hours.

Guaranteed that if another vehicle on the road was PoPo, I'm getting pulled over and screened.
First question, always, "What are you doing out here at this hour?"

It's happened at least a dozen times in the past 20 years. The last 4 times I pulled over before they even bothered to light up. Had all the paperwork ready before they even stopped.

acab

Me while driving home at night: What the fuck are you all doing out here? Go home!

And the classic "it's 3am, on a countryside backroad intersection. Surely nobody..."
But yesbody! There it is, a car coming at full speed, exactly at the moment I'm about to engage on what should otherwise be an empty road.

I like to joke about how only the weirdos are at Wal-Mart after midnight (while there at 2 am buying "emergency" beer or something like that, of course)

Me going to the store for cigarettes. Also me, playing the Night Call song while doing so.

This is one of the best articulations of how my mind works. I complained about someone jaywalking today because I thought the light was about to change in my favor. It didn't. I admitted to my partner that the jaywalker was right to jaywalk and I was wrong. But I had big "fuck-you" energy when I thought she'd be in my way.

I'm usually questioning my terrible life choices if I'm driving at 3am.

Probably just driving home from the bar like the rest of us.