This is not what I've read.

Boeing engineers tested the thrusters and managed to replicate the issue. They found that there issue was caused by a bulging of a Teflon valve.

However they don't understand the root cause of why the Teflon is bulging.

So Boeing said it's safe for the astronauts to return on Starliner but they also said that they fixed the thruster issues they had on the previous flight.

Not all NASA is confident that the Starliner is safe enough.

I’d be so fucking bored

You'd be on the f*cking space station. I doubt that easily gets boring, especially if you're an astronaut :)

Listening to NASA’s official press releases isn’t exactly what I’d call being a keyboard warrior. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using the most authoritative source as your primary world view, in most cases.

That’s what I was reading on Wikipedia at the time, it’s since been changed to commander TBD. Aleksandr Gorbunov is unbumpable, as he’s flying through the seat swap agreement between NASA and Roscosmos, so he’s been moved from mission specialist to pilot. Ars is reporting that they’ve heard that original commander Zena Cardman has retained her seat, but I guess it isn’t official and there’s some concern with some at NASA that neither Cardman nor Gorbunnov have flown in space before. NASA hasn’t flown an all-rookie flight since Skylab 4, the last crew to visit that station.

More or less. Of all Elon's companies, SpaceX seems to have the most robust strategies for managing the boss.

Maybe I'm just a jelly earthbound dude but having my space trip extended from 8 days to 8 months? Fuck yeah. I would LOVE the chance to be in space long enough to get bored of being in space.

Problems caused by being in space for too long? I'd be grateful to have them.

Risk my life just to leave the atmosphere and possibly die in space because it's hard at so damn dangerous to humans? Sign. Me. The. Fuck. Up.

I'm sure they kiss their families but man am I envious.

Yes, there's currently more crew than seats if you exclude the Starliner. In an emergency, I'm sure they could strap Wilmore and Williams into the Crew Dragon and/or Soyuz MS capsules somewhere, if they really had to. NASA likes to run every possible scenario, so I'm sure they already have a contingency plan for that.

Assuming they don't want to use the Starliner capsule for some reason. I haven't heard of any actual risk with using it.

Edit: I decided to actually read the article. They'd squeeze them into the Crew Dragon if they had to. And the problem with the Starliner isn't just helium leaks like I'd heard, it's also thruster seals swelling and blocking their own propellant. Thrusters are kind of important for attitude control.

Their backup plan is to have the extra 2 astronauts lie on the floor of the Crew Dragon and reenter without suits. Yep. That's still safer than Starliner.

until a SpaceX one arrives in 6 months

Quick correction, the SpaceX Crew-9 is scheduled to depart in 6 months. It will arrive (with two empty seats) in September. So Suni and Butch will only be "stuck" for the few days between when Starliner undocks and when the Crew-9 capsule arrives.

Will probably perform just fine. NASA update a couple weeks back covered results for multiple test firings of the thrusters to solve what was going on during approach. They all worked fine. Some at only 2-3% off peak performance window versus the 20% off that had been measured. So whatever tinkering had been going on seemed to have worked.

One curiosity they'll never be sure on was if seals were truly restricting fuel flow. That potentially the long wait time from stacking everything to launch caused swelling. And now in space that swelling has gone down which is why fuel flow has been fine. But the thruster module they would need to inspect gets left in space before re-entry. So we'll never know for sure.