At my previous job, I was often criticised for pointing out the obvious weaknesses and failure points of new ideas. I always made sure to remind the project's owner when it inevitably failed, and that they shouldn't have ignored the doomsayer in the room. The best part is that they couldn't fire me because I was a competent worker during a shortage caused by the pandemic.

Yeah, it's a mental condition called being a programmer.

Me, thinking to myself: what if this completely illogical and unlikely thing happened RIGHT NOW

Also me, to my wife: why would you think that completely illogical and unlikely thing would happen right now....

I wish my brain just went one scenario.

The one thing my therapists never understood was just how much more draining it was to have to put those contingency plans into action every day and then getting blamed for that too, so it's literally just worst case scenario every day all the way down.

So there I am in the catastrophic mode of thinking, actually feeling secure for once. And now I'm supposed to turn into an optimist? I tried. I tried because it was what I was supposed to do. And wouldn't you know it? It all blew up again.

So yeah I guess the message here is if a therapist is reading this, ask yourself what's worse? The bad thing happening with no plan, or the bad thing with a plan? Because the good thing isn't a choice. It never was in my life. It was always an illusion that gets ripped away the second you depend on it.

While not a quick and easy process, programming can be alterred. DBT helps.

This is both a blessing and a curse. For my line of work, IT, I'm often thinking of the possible failure scenarios because I'll have to deal with them if they happen. I want to make it easy on myself if the worst happens.

At the same time, having my manager saying "we need to chat" will have me basically getting fired 1000 different ways in my head before we walk the 18 steps to his office.

I mean, Trump won so... that illustrates how sometimes things do happen, and it's often best to be prepared for such?

It feels pretty good to be the one person prepared when shit does go down though. So there's that at least...

If everything's okay then I've forgotten something.

I do that, and it's not just mental. It affects what I have access to doing even when I actually have access because I can't trust it.

I too am a fan of the Chicago Bears.

Even mourning people and situations before they are gone.

Caveman thoughts

Literally the story of Inside Out 2

Ocd people unite!

I know how draining it is to hear someone who verbalizes their worst case scenario for every situation, but they might just be paranoid.

holy fucking lack of punctuation batman!

I thought I was having a stroke.