Ah, I'm home
I'm sorry you have the shits, or, glad you're not constipated anymore I guess
Today is a new day for my 
Do you finally respect the power of Montezuma?
His range is limitless
what kind of number are we talking on the Bristol Stool Chart. six? seven?
Somewhere in there yeah
Bidet
Just open the seat and sit all the way in the water. No splashes, and you can just to a little twerk before you stand up.
the ol' dip and rinse
Genius
I have filled my bathtub
Daily user. Life changing purchase. The away poop is now a sorrowful one
What brand of toilet paper
I think it's Charmin. The roll of toilet paper was a gift from a friend. It's hard to explain.
what did you eat
I've been away from home visiting family so my diet has been inconsistent.
You know when you know you're about to be gone for three days, so you intentionally don't go to the grocery store and run out of everything, and then eat random bullshit just to get you through? Like that
Typically I really enjoy being meticulous about my diet. Vegetables and water make me feel good
What a blunder
How many beanis worth?
I think the problem is the lack of
or a very mild illness of the butt variety
Are you currently shidding and/or farding out of your doodoo ass?
yes
you got enough TP in there, bud?
I'm absolutely stocked actually
Wet or dry
It was bad
badposting is a comm where you post badly
This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.
Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?
Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo