this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2024
51 points (93.2% liked)

Casual Conversation

2633 readers
452 users here now

Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.


RULES (updated 01/22/25)

  1. Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling. To be concise, disrespect is defined by escalation.
  2. Encourage conversation in your OP. This means including heavily implicative subject matter when you can and also engaging in your thread when possible. You won't be punished for trying.
  3. Avoid controversial topics (politics or societal debates come to mind, though we are not saying not to talk about anything that resembles these). There's a guide in the protocol book offered as a mod model that can be used for that; it's vague until you realize it was made for things like the rule in question. At least four purple answers must apply to a "controversial" message for it to be allowed.
  4. Keep it clean and SFW: No illegal content or anything gross and inappropriate. A rule of thumb is if a recording of a conversation put on another platform would get someone a COPPA violation response, that exact exchange should be avoided when possible.
  5. No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc. The chart redirected to above applies to spam material as well, which is one of the reasons its wording is vague, as it applies to a few things. Again, a "spammy" message must be applicable to four purple answers before it's allowed.
  6. Respect privacy as well as truth: Don’t ask for or share any personal information or slander anyone. A rule of thumb is if something is enough info to go by that it "would be a copyright violation if the info was art" as another group put it, or that it alone can be used to narrow someone down to 150 physical humans (Dunbar's Number) or less, it's considered an excess breach of privacy. Slander is defined by intentional utilitarian misguidance at the expense (positive or negative) of a sentient entity. This often links back to or mixes with rule one, which implies, for example, that even something that is true can still amount to what slander is trying to achieve, and that will be looked down upon.

Casual conversation communities:

Related discussion-focused communities

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

The temporary job I have currently is depressing but I don't have any other options, I don't have studies or preparation of any kind and I'm not a kid anymore, anti social and poor to getting out of this...

I was trying to get my driving license but I was thinking on giving up on that, the teacher is kind of an asshole and I dread the lessons, after so many I don't see progress... I'm only still going because starting from zero means hundreds of euro wasted, starting from 0 means another investment. I wish I wouldn't had started them, but I was being pressured by my family due being unemployed.

I have to go to work again tonight in an hour, night shift... I almost wanna get fired.

I apologise if my post is a downer, but this is basically the state of my life.

top 8 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

The driving license thing is something you could struggle through. I mean it's not nice if you got some asshole as instructor. That happens. And you need to sit in a car next to them for quite some hours... I know this might suck hard... But I mean if you have 0 motivation to succeed, that could also explain the lack or progress. Or you'd need to change the instructor if they're the problem.

Edit: And regarding the broader topic: It's really really harmful to just sit around and do nothing and get nowhere. You need something in your life. Either goals. Or at least something to do. Pretty much anything, even going out and just drinking (unless you're have issues with alcohol) is better than that (in my uninformed opinion). Maybe volunteer or do sports. But you need to do something. I'd say pick something that's easy to begin with.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

With regard to goals, if you're in a rut and don't know how to get out of it, make "be an observer" a goal. It doesn't take much effort, and no matter what's going on around you, you can already observe it. Try to observe without making snap judgments; you're practicing paying attention right now. When you do start to make judgments about things (whether immediately or with some distance), double check your conclusions, thinking about whether those conclusions actually follow your observations.

You should gain a tiny bit of comfort from having a little more control over your thought processes, more conclusions based on what you know, and fewer based on what you fear. This tiny bit of comfort is just a little stepstool that gets you up off the bottom of your hole. From there, you can start building another step. Eventually, you'll have a staircase, but you need to build it, and you need to climb it.

[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I think that aligns well with the general advice on how to get somewhere and how to start moving: You take one step at a time...

And if you're really down, the only thing that matters is that you do any. And make it a habit to do it regularly. You can worry about the size of the steps and the direction later, after you stopped being completely down and disheartened. But I'm not a psychologist...

[–] espentan@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

I agree wholeheartedly with this. Do something. Set set a goal for the day, and make it something that is easily achievable and preferably not something with dependencies (e.g. "couldn't go for the walk I planned because I needed a car to get there").

On the topic of walks; I think I used that example because walking/moving about very often help my head change gears. I might suddenly see opportunities I didn't before, or find the desire to do something I might've somewhat been dreading..

[–] Im_old@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Work can be sucky, only way (that I know) is to study something else in your own time to move to a different sector/industry.

The driving instructor you can just dump honestly. Find another driving school

And if you can, what worked for me was moving out from your parents. You'll probably find that having your space (even if it's just a room) with your rythms and everything, it can really make you feel better.

Best of luck!

[–] Platypus@lemmings.world 1 points 2 months ago

Unfortunately I can't live alone I'm dependent of my family and I don't handle stuff well, plus I don't have money

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 4 points 2 months ago

Driving, I hate driving. I learned to do it only because I need to do it for work, and I have to say every instructor and tester I've had were complete asses. You're not alone.

[–] Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Driving sucks but it’s a necessary requirement in my neck of the woods…