My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperial. Can you say the same?
this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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Ok, but our bodies and brains are pretty well adapted to the hunting part.
The other day I was out in the woods because I was depressed and suicidal and I found a trail with some hoofprints and started following it on a whim kinda hoping I'd get lost. It's surprisingly easy to just follow a trail, very instinctual. I just kinda kept autopiloting along even past sunset and after a few hours... there were three deer just lying there! I got excited and tried to slowly/quietly approach and pet them, but touching one just woke them all up and they bolted. If I had brought a club or other weapon with me (hell, even just grabbed a stick...) and used that instead of going for love, I could have brought home a deer with basically zero effort, just autopilot and letting my body do what it wanted to do when it didn't want to deal with the human world anymore. I've never hunted anything before but it's apparently just a super easy and human thing to do if you just go out in the woods and let instinct take over.
So, yeah, I'm now convinced that ordering a pizza on the phone (and the societal labor required to procure the money for that) is absolutely harder than persistence hunting a deer. Although maybe I should try reproducing that experiment before I rely on it for survival.
But yeah, just go out in the woods and there are deer. Way easier than picking up a phone. Assuming the humans that came before you didn't kill the forest before you got there.
Um that's a really cool story, and I liked it, but you need to get help.
I don't disagree.
I've already been thrown out of society, and since then society has been lit on fire by our new government, so that's not really an option.
You've gotta play the hand you're dealt, and I'm out of cards other than bitch on the internet until I run out of food, but maybe if I can actually get a deer I can extend that runway a little.
It's 2025 who fucking calls to order the pizza
Going by my local pizza place, a lot of people apparently.
True. I used to pick up all the time and their phone was always ringing off the hook
Sometimes, the app or the website won't deliver to my business, but if I call and order, then there's no problem. Well, one problem. I have to make sure I have cash on hand.
Yeah, but my stupid ass ancestors died when they were half my age. They also didn’t have to deal with (looking at notes) the existential horror of our world and everything good on it crumbling into oblivion while everyone dances and claps.
#1 reason to learn to make your own pizza
I think the existential horror isn't because of the phone call or the pizza, but because everything else around you. The decline of society, the probable collapse of the economy, the uncertain future ...
Try looking up your local pizza place’s website. Many local places now have online ordering right on their website, no apps required!
Pfft, you need to order pizza for a panic attack? Sitting at my desk can be enough for me.
It is kinda their fault. I'm not kidding.
