this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Assuming you are gay, have never committed a crime in your life and have illegally used software licensed with the "Be gay, do crime" license, you would have committed a crime, but because you did, you would have been following the license, which would mean you havent committed a crime, creating a paradox

[–] boonhet@lemm.ee 5 points 3 days ago

Civil matter, not a crime.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 19 points 3 days ago

in a community I was in a while ago, there was a license someone used called the "anyone but Jeff license" which banned people named Jeff from using the Minecraft mod

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 84 points 4 days ago

Overwatch License

Modification of the source code is only allowed if your competitive rank in Overwatch is higher than the maintainer's.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 43 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I like the hot potato license, but granting commit rights only to inhabitants of the milky way galaxy is too restrictive.

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I suppose in about 4.5 billion years the Andromedans can start committing also. (That or nobody can since it won't be the Milky Way any more)

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

yeah, either that or none of the Milkdromeda inhabitants will be able to commit

[–] barsoap@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The Nuclear Waste Software License is brilliant. Not only does it make the right impact when publishing random write-only code, it's legally BSD so lawyers won't be up your arse about it. In fact, it only strengthens the warranty disclaimer.

[–] fxomt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)
The [true] Unlicense License
Copyright (c) No one. You shouldn't be seeing this.

Permission is hereby denied, without possible charge, to any person illegally obtaining a copy of
this software and associated documentation files (the "Software") to not interact with the Software at
all, not look at the source code at all, and to not possess a copy, INCLUDING not having the right 
to run, execute or use the Software in any way.

The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall not be included in
copies or substantial portions of the Software, since you aren't supposed to see this anyway.

THE SOFTWARE IS **NOT** PROVIDED AT ALL, WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR
IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY,
FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN ALL EVENTS SHALL THE
AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS HAVE A RIGHT TO HOLD YOU LIABLE FOR BREAKING THE
LICENSE, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM,
OUT OF OR IN ILLEGAL CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE 
USE OR OTHER QUESTIONABLE DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE
``
[–] ArrowMax@feddit.org 16 points 3 days ago

Perfect! My shitty code qualifies as a cognitohazard, so nobody should be seeing it anyways.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 days ago

That there's no please-ignore-this-license license?

[–] xtools@programming.dev 35 points 4 days ago (2 children)

sltar License

Using this software requires giving your first child to the author so that they can "immolate it to the devil".

i'm feeling the urge to hide this clause in one of my projects. i'd change it to Rumpelstiltskin though.

There's no way this is how Rumpelstilzchen is spelled in English...

duckduckgoes

IT IS. English takes every single French word, keeps its spelling but mangles the pronunciation but for Rumpelstilzchen the pronunciation is somehow more relevant than the spelling? It makes some sense, but the ending "stiltskin" is an abomination.

The meaning of "stilzchen" is "small stilt" by the way - so he should've be called "Grumblestilty" in English.

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Are you sure EA or Ubisoft didn't already beat you to it? Lol

[–] xtools@programming.dev 4 points 3 days ago

they don't take your firstborn but go straight for your soul instead

[–] psud@aussie.zone 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Be Gay Do Crimes licence - seems to be good for gay people who live where being gay is a crime, unless one wishes not to out themselves by their choice of licence

[–] Solemarc@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago

Isn't the "passive aggressive licence" just MIT?

For comparison: comments about other licenses are available at https://www.gnu.org/licenses/license-list.html