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Day 64 of not drinking, sober living is driving me up a wall (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 weeks ago by LeylaLove@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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Been back to work for a week and it's already become my safe space. Not only do I need the extra hours, but I just want to get away from the shit of the house. People going off their psych meds, people who refuse to do anything for themselves, and they all expect me to pick up the slack for them. I spent my day having my phone blown up by people asking for cigarette money that I didn't have and wouldn't have given if I did, I had to stop in the middle of my work day to do a wakeup call for the person getting back on their meds today, I had to clean pretty much the entire house yesterday even though I live with 5 other people and half of them don't have jobs.

My ride is coming 3 hours late today and I thanked the fucking Lord that I don't have to deal with these people until at least 8. Sorry for the rant, these people just try their best to piss me off.

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[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Congrats on over 2 months!! That's amazing!

It sucks when you're the one in a group who has your feet proverbially under yourself - especially if you were in similar circumstances earlier and have now got a better handle. You don't have to take on more than you have, including making wake-up calls for adults who strictly ought to be taking charge of their health by being compliant with medication, or cleaning the house for people who (it sounds like) could do some hours of cleaning on their own in the place they also live - taking on too much for too long is a recipe for burnout, you don't want burnout. It's just plain bad but you will be a better helping hand long term if you avoid it.

Anyway, you seem like you've got a handle on boundaries by saying no to cigarette money

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, sober them is like drunk me. Because even when I was drinking I did shit like using an ashtray.

The only reason I'm taking on more than I should right now is because of the serenity prayer. Being in a nasty house stresses me out, so I clean it instead of just being stressed by it, even when it's not my responsibility. I do the wakeup call because I actually spent the last of my money this morning getting this bitch a ride to get her meds because she is so fucking annoying when she's off them that I was going to let her manically ruin her life just so I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. Instead I told her that she's obviously manic and told her to get back on her meds and offered her help, if that didn't work I was just going to try and get her kicked out. But I'm trying to do what I can to make my home life peaceful, because I shouldn't want to live at my work right now.

Oh well, could be worse. I get free non alcoholic beer and red bulls all night so it's not too bad at work when I clock off.

[–] hollowmines@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

wait are these allegedly sober people smoking without ashtrays????

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Yep, just flicking their cigarettes into the fucking yard even though we have ashtrays (a coffee can, but still a place to put cigarette butts)

And what's worse is one of them blamed it on being schizoaffective when I asked them to stop like I don't have the same diagnosis. I wasn't impressed or convinced whatsoever.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

day 64

less than two weeks behind you, sis, and it sounds like you got more on your plate than I do rat-salute-2

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago

Ay glad you're doing well! I remember us chatting a bit before I went into rehab and I was hoping you were doing well! Kickass :)

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

meow-hug that sounds exhausting. im proud of you for keeping to it this long, though

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago

At this point I have to. Not to get too dark, but I made a post about last time I drank, and I came really close to dying that time. That would have been fine to me in my addiction, but now that I'm not in active addiction I want to live again yk? If I drink again I'm gonna die over catastrophising temporary problems and it just feels like it's not an option anymore.

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago

daaaaamn good job! you got this!