this post was submitted on 27 May 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Panamalt@sh.itjust.works 194 points 1 month ago (3 children)

bro is having a rough time, and all his 'friends' abandon him and him his problems are wrong . . .

First greentext that's actually believable

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 57 points 1 month ago

Saddest greentext I ever saw, real and straight

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Time and place for everything.

[–] JayDee 20 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

You usually don't choose when you have a mental breakdown. The big thing here is that he crashed out and not a single one of his friends cared about his wellbeing enough to try and help. Just got told to go to a doctor.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 11 points 4 weeks ago

I mean not every situation is one where people are prepared to drop everything and be the emotional support.

Just got told to go to a doctor

Probably the best advice though

[–] GhostedIC@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

What was he supposed to say?

"Alright bro. I might not be a doctor, but I'll help you get an erection. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

[–] JayDee 21 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Comfort him. Let him know that he's not a leper all of a sudden for having a moment of vulnerability. Listen. Make sure that they understand that they're heard.

These are pretty basic forms of emotional labor that go a long way in helping folks, and can even save lives at times.

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 weeks ago

This is good advice, thank you for the reality check.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml -1 points 3 weeks ago

"Oh you broke your arm? Don't worry bro we will support you and set your arm right. No doctor needed."

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Men don't talk about shit.

Source - am man

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

But male loneliness is totes the fault of dem wimmenz

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 11 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Nobody outside incels say that and they don't represent men at large.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

Oh they talk shit. Maybe you just dont hear it because its about you.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 102 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fake: anon has friends

Gay: anon has drunk conversations about dicks

[–] codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago

Anon imagines a group conversation of men all discussing dicks.

[–] lessthanluigi 4 points 1 month ago

I'm guessing those drunk conversations about dicks are to himself in the mirror, since he has no friends to talk to for that matter.

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 91 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I hope he manages to find help. For his sake and that of his family. His bros do not sound particularly supportive

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 49 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I dunno, I think it's asking a lot of drunk guys playing videogames to suddenly snap in to support mode on the spot like that. Even sober if someone just snapped and started ranting about something that personal with no context and nobody knew before I can't say that I'd be able to respond in a perfectly supportive manner.

At least in this totally real situation they had one friend (OOP) that was able to give some slight form of acknowledgement, even if it wasn't particularly emotionally comforting.

[–] LotrOrc@lemmy.world 14 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I dunno my friends are pretty solid with emotional support when drunk or sober its not that complicated

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the current mind state of the group is more important than sobriety or gender (though both of those probably play a role). At least for me, I can have a hard time immediately switching gears socially, that coupled with the shock of having someone start ranting about something I had no idea of, would be hard to be a total role model. I'd probably end up doing something similar to OOP, I definitely wouldn't awkwardly leave because I'd feel too bad, I'd probably ask if they'd talked to anyone or seen a doctor but if the other guy was also super drunk and ranting I don't know how long I'd be able to stick around

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 3 points 4 weeks ago

I mean, drunk d&ms are absolutely a staple, but they kinda migrate organically, not dropped in the middle of other activities

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 10 points 1 month ago

Well, it's better than nothing. I'm glad to hear there's more people with compassion and empathy

[–] MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It is such a clear sign of differences in socialization, because you will never find a more supportive group than a bunch of drunk female friends (in my experience). Really sad to see the lack of men supporting men, but hopefully it's getting better as the years go on.

[–] linkshulkdoingit69@lemmy.nz 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It doesn't seem to be getting better, at least not for me and in the wider USA. It can be really tough having no friend group and going it alone.

[–] MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 5 points 4 weeks ago

Extremely sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I'm not a guy, so I cannot speak from direct experience, but just judging from my male friends it seems like the "find a social hobby" advice really works. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I really don't have much else to offer other than my sympathy. I hope things get better for you (and everyone tbh).

[–] BreakerSwitch@lemm.ee 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Recently had a talk with hospital employee friend about ED and how it's exceptionally preventable and 9 times out of 10 caused by sedentary lifestyle resulting in poor circulation. Pass it on to bro, I guess.

[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

Doesnt diet affect it too with cholesterol or something?

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What the fuck has that poor VietCong got anything to do with this?

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

they became Venture Capitalists

[–] scaramobo@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 4 weeks ago

No they are inside the Videogame Console

[–] lessthanluigi 15 points 1 month ago

anon leaves the VietCong

Makes sense

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago

Poor bro :(

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It's so rare for guys to open up like this. Usually you'll get some little comment about not being OK but if you try to address it directly or even just țry commiserating they'll get uncomfortable and back out of it with some thought terminating cliché like "it is what it is."

Someone actually having a breakdown and opening up about their problems would be so much easier.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago

It's so rare for guys to open up like this.

Unless they're hammered, which was the case here

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 4 points 1 month ago