A Boring Dystopia

You can tell the guards there that you’re a citizen, but they’ll likely respond with some version of “tell it to the judge.” Your immigration-court appearance could be weeks, or even months, away. You will wait behind bars. There’s no right to counsel in immigration court — if you can’t afford a lawyer, you’ll have to represent yourself. When you finally see the inside of a courtroom, it could be what ICE calls a “mass removal” hearing with dozens of other defendants. You won’t have a chance to talk to a judge.

Holy fucking shit. The injustice in this would cause me have a violent meltdown.

There's only one form of ID ICE cares about:

How can you do anything if you're detained by ICE? If you have your birth certificate or passport in a safety deposit box you can't access it when you are detained.

No. I can't. And probably neither can most of us. That's part of the plan. Anybody among us could be disappeared into the gulags.

Depends on how much due process they’re willing to allow.

I’m very white, so that’s something.

I almost always have my drivers license on me, that should be worth something. However I’m pretty sure my state gives out licenses regardless of immigration status. Also, while I paid for RealID, I didn’t get it

In case due process and constitutional rights were allowed, I have a passport and may be able to dig up a birth certificate. You can’t really do any better although I believe they’re already ignoring that

Can’t do any better than my birth certificate.

If that’s no good then no

I've needed to email my birth certificate a few times, so I could probably find it in my emails.

I have all my various types of IDs going back to high school. State, student, passports, two birth certs, name change paperwork, old and new social security card. I've got so many ways to prove my identity. They'd probably just steal my shit and lose it then say I must be lying

Presumably yes, birth certificate. But based on news of citizens being wrongfully deported I honestly don't know what kind of proof ICE demands.

Probably but that’s because I’m privileged to have a space secure enough to store the magic documents that mean I’m allowed to occupy the volume required for me.

Nations are dumb and imaginary.

Nah, I don’t even live there

yeah but why would you want to? talk about embarassing

Squirrel

I could pretend I like guns and don't know what a meter is. Would that be enough?

Nein

Probably not without a ton of money and the willingness to pretend to be one...

Thankfully not.

Could you really prove anything, reality is relative and all.

No

I'd rather tell them to get fucked. Though, not sure if have the stones.