this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
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The Onion

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A member of the Los Angeles Police Department has announced a major career change, saying they have been drafted into the IDF. This comes after the cop was seen on camera shooting Australian journalist Lauren Tomasi.

“They’re a natural,” said a representative for the IDF, “they’ll fit right in, as long as they stop using those rubber bullets.”

“Plus they even got the media to use a passive voice and not identifying who did it despite doing it on camera. They have the exact skills we look for in a soldier.”

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[–] Monument 31 points 2 days ago (1 children)

These writers are getting lazy. This is barely satire.

[–] MangoCats@feddit.it 7 points 2 days ago

Sign of the times: the jokes write themselves.

[–] three@lemmy.zip 60 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Man, I took an enthusiastic bite of this one.

[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The fascists don't want the public to know that LA is resisting. The fascist owned corporate media in the US won't show it but they can't control the foreign media so they take a page from the fascist playbook and just shoot non-fascist propagandist journalists.

[–] dbtng@eviltoast.org -4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

This is a 4 fascist post.
I counted!

[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Call a fascist a fascist. Trump is a fascist. The GOP is full of fascists.

[–] dbtng@eviltoast.org 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I'm good w all that. But your post sounded extreme to the point of silly. Perhaps a 3 fascist post would achieve better balance? I'm unsure, as I try to limit my own work to just 2 fascists, and have little experience with managing more.

[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The fascists and their shills have tried for years to cheapen the words fascist and fascism by pretending that the words fascist and fascism were meaningless nasty names that the real bad guys threw at people they didn't like. The fact of the matter is that the words fascist and fascism have clear meanings that I was applying correctly to the rise of fascism in the United States and the fact that Trump is clearly a fascist and that Trumpist are clearly fascist boot lickers.

[–] dbtng@eviltoast.org -1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

10 fascist post!
Well, that sounded more real. Truly angry. Less posing. Amazing work.

[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago

I was making fun of you.

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

“They’ll only target bad people. I’m not bad people so I’ll surely be fine!” –dbtng while being dragged away jackboots

[–] dbtng@eviltoast.org 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Oh my. That's a bit harsh. Do you feel better now?

Edit ... Jebus. You're acting like this in The_Onion comm? Why? Wow. At least I understand you now. This is edgelord crap, right. Way to go. You win all the points.

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 30 points 2 days ago

This one fuckin got me. I was like ‘yeah, I believe that unquestioningly.’

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 28 points 2 days ago

hugs the onion you beautiful bastard never stop being you

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

The whole thin line between happy and sad tears is eroding

[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Posted on Lemmy first (see the meme in the OP text)

https://sopuli.xyz/post/28479761

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

I think it is the same article, but that OP did get the screenshot of the article first. I came accross it elsewhere tough.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

Heartwarming news violent cops have found a new means of job promotion.