this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2025
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After being miserable and ungrateful for things almost my whole life, I finally feel like my life is consistently great. I really think I realize now how amazing my life has always been, but how focused i was on the shit that didnt matter - the stuff that was temporary. I spent my time worrying about all of it instead of focusing on what I had. I've experienced so much in such little time and have so much more yet to, and I've never been more grateful, excited, at times fearful but eager for it all. I love my life.

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[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No questions, just want to thank you for this post. I've never been off the mainland USA, and while things are definitely interesting right now, I have to say, I've come to recognize over the last few years how incredibly good life really is, and focusing on what I have and what's right has been incredibly mood-altering, mind-changing, and in small but distinctively notable ways, life changing, for me. It took a lot of me getting in my own way, to learn to get out of my own way, and I'm still learning; and more importantly, unlearning, not following up bad paradigms of "everything is a catastrophe, woe is me!" that are super - abundant right now. I notice things, obviously, I just choose to redirect my energy and attention to how much I really have, and how incredibly fortunate I've been, all things considered.

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

Agreed! More people could likely realize this.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What's your favourite soup recipe?

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

hmm. Definitely not my recipe - but the best soup I've ever had was at a restaurant somewhere in Saint Lucia. Callaloo soup! It's like coconut milk, callaloo leaves and some type of seafood meat (Think i had crab and scallops in it).

[–] answersplease77@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I did not understand your post. What has lately improved in your life that made you feel happy again? New job? Wealth? Friend/spouse? Health improvment?

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

None of that. Just reflection and time!

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That you, Emmet Brickowski?

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 13 points 2 days ago

Everything is awesome!

[–] cecilkorik@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's great that you're able to maintain that optimistic perspective for your life and I think that's really important.

But I'm curious how you reconcile that with the fact that bad things are objectively going on in the world, do you just ignore them and pretend they're not happening, accept them and move on with your life knowing you have little control of it, or do you acknowledge they're bad and still hope to change them and improve the world, just without letting it get to you in your daily life? Like for example, if I told you that I thought the US especially was in an incredibly dangerous political situation right now that could mark the start of a worldwide descent into conflict, war and deadly, life-changing economic turmoil... would you say that's impossible, or unlikely, or do you just believe there are enough good people to stop it from happening but you still understand the danger? Or is it something you too are worried about, and you're just not letting it take the joy out of your life?

I think the latter is probably a very healthy attitude and if you can pull that off I'm happy for you, and I'm not trying to start a political flamewar in any way, I'm just trying to understand your perspective compared to mine. I guess I'm just wondering if you are happy because you actually see the world completely differently than I do and maybe one of us is wrong (it could be me), or if we see the same things and you choose to be happy despite it. Because it's something I struggle with personally. The world seems very... bad... to me right now, and it really hurts to think of all the people I think this is going to affect, probably including me.

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

For me, I think it's just a distinction I've made in my mind. The world is not bad, it is wonderful and beautiful, but the people on it are bad. Specific people consistently too will always be there to ruin it and progressively destroy it around those who simply wish to live peacefully. Its not that I've no care in the world or ignore issues as they pertain to me policitally, but I do everything in my power to push things towards what I believe is right, and I separate and acknowledge the things I cannot do anything about. We as people can only do so much and if you do anything towards what you truly believe in? I think thats better than most. In the interim, it's about putting those things to the side and living in the present moment, saving the introspection and political concerns for another time.

[–] cecilkorik@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

That sounds like a good attitude, I'm proud of you! I hope I can learn to do the same.

[–] Skanky@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What kinda music you into?

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, if it's music and it exists, I'll listen to it! I definitely have certain categories I listen to more so than others, but I generally like all music. I'd say my top genres are metal/heavy metal and rap. I was a drummer for many years though, so maybe that influenced that!

[–] Skanky@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 1 points 12 hours ago

I download all of my music locally, so who's mostly in my playlist I'd consider metal are, from order of most to least prevalent: Architects, Beartooth, Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Saint Asonia, Bring me the Horizon, Black Veil Brides, Nothing More, motionless in white.

I'm sure I'm missing some!

[–] iii@mander.xyz 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are you a dog or cat person

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

I've mostly grown up with dogs, but both. Both is good :)

[–] BaroqueInMind@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What was the event that was a turn around point to instigate this realization?

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 days ago

It was really more of a gradual change, that only this year truly have I become to consciously appreciate and understand what it is I have. I'd say it happened after getting close with colleagues I work with at my not-so-new-anymore job, learning how much in common we really have and having some perspective brought on me by all the people I've met and spoken with through the years. Friends, romantics, and even the things I've learned from enemies and similar experiences.. All of that added together has made me the best version of myself I've ever been and I only strive to improve that further.

[–] some_guy 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Similar boat. A lifetime of off and on depression, manic episodes, the works. Finally in control, stable, emotionally mature, and happy. Cheers! Very happy for you.

All right, what is one of the experiences that you had when you talk about experiencing so much in so little time that had a profound effect in some way? Also, pineapple on pizza yay or nay? (There is a wrong answer where we can't be pals. Jk, but I will judge you.)

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Glad to hear of your advancements as well :)

Something that I've started to look back on just a few years ago is being able to go to many places around the world as a child. My parents were almost always able to take a vacation for ~ 2 weeks a year. We'd almost always go a new place, I've been to several islands and across new countries. I've been on ultra long road trips and plane rides. As that started to die off, going through my life and all the way to now - totally moved out and adulting on my own like everyone else - I really start to appreciate those memories. And i have so very many pictures of those memeries and of the places ive been able to see.

Anyway, to the important question: pineapple complements specifically a sweeter sauce. I'm into it!

[–] some_guy 2 points 2 days ago

Monster! Still happy for you.

[–] SmoothOperator@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are you reinvesting your joy in becoming more robust to your next bad times?

[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

In a way, I really don't feel I need to. I'm fully aware and understanding that more bad times are certainly to come, for me and people around me. But I truly can't think of anything that could possibly happen that would be as bad as what I've already gone through. As naive as that may come off as, I really do think I've gone through the worst parts of my life already, and although I'm certain I'll experience grief in my future - I don't think it will compare and I think I'm already prepared to cope with that. Until then and always, I'll just keep it pushing!