1509
You have 1 wish... (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 10 months ago by borth@sh.itjust.works to c/memes@lemmy.ml
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[-] socsa@lemmy.ml 111 points 10 months ago

Last panel is wrong. Genie would just grant him an MBA from a top tier school

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 63 points 10 months ago

I once looked through a textbook from my friend's MBA course. The first thing I noticed was in a highlighted box in the chapter on business negotiating: "Your skill at negotiating will affect the outcome of the negotiations."

These are the people that make 10X what I make.

[-] grayman@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago

This is why I refuse to get an MBA. I already know my pants go on my legs. Thanks.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

taking notes On the legs, you say? Interesting..🤔

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Your skill at putting on your pants will affect the outcome of the pants-on-putting operation.

[-] tslnox@reddthat.com 13 points 10 months ago

In Czech we say MBA means MladĂ˝, BlbĂ˝, ArogantnĂ­ - Young, Dumb, Arrogant.

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[-] 10EXP@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago

Are you sure that wasn’t the introduction to the Speech skill in Skyrim?

[-] iamnotdave@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

I learned this in my first statics class, and I have a BS in business administration.

[-] freecandy@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

Statics? They teaching yall physics?

[-] ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

Not spelling though... they skipped right past that.

[-] blackluster117@possumpat.io 8 points 10 months ago

They gave you some bs alright.

[-] bane_killgrind@kbin.social 8 points 10 months ago

It would be funnier if the genie says "there are two rules"

[-] ocassionallyaduck@lemmy.world 82 points 10 months ago

Japanese companies, this isn't a wish, it's a fundamental truth of the universe. Like gravity. No matter the scale or importance of them. I promise you your car exists because of an Excel 2003 file on some underpaid engineer's laptop that they periodically sync with an inventory system.

[-] Getawombatupya@aussie.zone 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I once worked for a Japanese company where I had to make a presentation. In Excel, I shit you not. Then we had one of our "shadow" managers make a Japanese translation of the same thing. It took me two days to get the kerning and print layout right, especially with that weird english typeface that is Japanese standard, I hate to think how long the translator took to get their version right.

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[-] ZC3rr0r@lemmy.ca 48 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Microsoft spent years and years trying to get people to not use Excel as a database, until they eventually had to give up hope that anyone who doesn't know the difference would voluntarily use Access, so they started adding database-like functionality to Excel to meet their customer's demands and try to make the experience at least a little bit less painful.

This is a real-life case of "meet the user where they are" despite the designer's wishes, because even within Microsoft, there is strong agreement on not using Excel as a DB.

[-] supercriticalcheese@feddit.it 10 points 10 months ago

I only ever encountered Access was once many years ago and I was warned that it had issues with multiple users.

[-] ZC3rr0r@lemmy.ca 17 points 10 months ago

Well, to be fair to Access, it's not like Excel is such a great multi-user database either, now is it? ;-)

[-] supercriticalcheese@feddit.it 6 points 10 months ago

Well excel nowadays doesn't have issues with concurrent users if you have office 365 like many companies do.

At that time it was Access with the files located at a company shared drive, the issue was concurrent writes I believe.

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[-] TacoButtPlug@sh.itjust.works 46 points 10 months ago

This is basically what I run for a living and it's definitely not glamorous.

[-] eslaf@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago

Employers get what they demand, what they deserve. Anyway excel works as a database until around 1 million entries...

[-] xpinchx@lemmy.world 38 points 10 months ago

Once you get to a million just start a new one and create a "master" spreadsheet that uses power query to append them all. Problem solved ;)

Don't tell anyone but I actually do this.

[-] bagfatnick@kulupu.duckdns.org 11 points 10 months ago

I feel you. Working in healthcare, ms office is the only thing consistently installed site wide I can take advantage of to run a db.

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[-] Confused_Emus@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

I work as a network tech for a globally spanning ISP specializing in fiber services, handling major maintenances that are service effecting for business and government customers (SLAs are in effect). These maintenances are planned and tracked through various excel sheets - housed either in a shared network drive (so yeah, we may run into issues where multiple people are trying to edit the same doc at once), or excel tables in a SharePoint.

Prior to the merger of companies I recently went through, we had actual database systems to track this stuff that worked just fine. And now we're relying on the same shit a grad student would use to track their doctorate progress. It'll work until it doesn't. Looking forward to the shit-show if it gets me overtime.

[-] thantik@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago

Anyone else use Microsoft Access....30 years ago?

[-] yukichigai@kbin.social 21 points 10 months ago

How about last week?

Why yes this comic made me think of our users, why do you ask?

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

Fun fact: most of the electronic voting machines in the 2000 presidential election used Access to store vote counts. Access, the "database" with a user-editable audit table.

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[-] janAkali@lemmy.one 25 points 10 months ago

3gb CSV file goes brrrr....

[-] TheFerrango@lemmy.basedcount.com 22 points 10 months ago

Should’ve been the version saying:

Geanie: “It is done”

Person: “But… nothing changed”

G: “Correct”

[-] MrMagnesium12@feddit.de 21 points 10 months ago
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[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

"I have to make a brochure for the printing shop and I'd like to compose it in Excel"

"There are actually five rules..."

"In Powerpoint?"

"Make that six."

[-] xuniL@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 10 months ago

Except PowerPoint is actually quite nice to make quick, easy and good looking visualizations and brochures without having to deal with Word

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

Well, Word isn't really a good choice either.

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[-] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 13 points 10 months ago

Don't be gross, use CSV files

[-] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 7 points 10 months ago

I mean it's a simple file format so it'll perform better because it doesn't have to decode any complex formats or protocols.

Big O? Never heard of it!

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[-] MaxPower@feddit.de 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

My 5th rule would be "no 'fix my IT problem without me telling you what the error message says'". Because fuck that

[-] Bene7rddso@feddit.de 11 points 10 months ago
[-] protput@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

That would be something I could google. So not completely useless.

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[-] NotBadAndYou@ttrpg.network 12 points 10 months ago

Isn't the Genie usually depicted as malicious, or at least mischievous? I would expect the Genie to grant the wish, knowing what a shitshow it would be.

[-] Blank@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Even Genie have standards.

[-] CoupleOfConcerns@lemmy.nz 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Honestly, since the introduction of 'tables', pivot tables, Power Pivot and Power Query, Excel is way more viable to be used as a database. Tables in particular mean that formulas fill down and the range automically resizes when records are added.

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[-] Asudox@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Kind of related question: Is it okay for me to use JSON as a small DB? I just store basic blog page data there.

[-] nierot@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago

I mean it will work, but for a blog I'd store the pages in markdown files, to make it easier to edit. For context, look into how Hugo works

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[-] joneskind@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

My old ass crying in MS Access

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this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2023
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