I’m actually proud of this and might frame it for my office 🤣

On a fine Monday morning, Steve Huffman, known colloquially as Spez, awoke from his gold-threaded sheets in his penthouse, sipping on his ethically questionable yet preposterously expensive civet coffee. He looked out his windows, the horizon offering the perfect view of his kingdom, his creation, his Reddit.

Having decided to raise the cost of API use to levels that would make a NASA engineer's jaw drop, Spez had embarked on a mission to squelch third-party apps, steering users towards the official (albeit buggy) Reddit app. He chuckled to himself, confident that his plot was as foolproof as an uncrackable safe.

Little did he know, the storm was brewing.

As he logged on, dressed in his favorite power suit, he noticed the eerie silence. Subreddits, once buzzing hives of memes, jokes, and shower thoughts, were now as barren as the surface of Mars. The once-mighty r/AskReddit, now reduced to a ghost town, echoed with digital tumbleweeds.

Confused, he navigated to r/pics. The screen loaded and his eyes were met with an endless scroll of buttholes, every variety, shape, and color imaginable. His newly nanobot-manicured eyebrows knitted together in bewilderment.

“Must be a new meme trend,” he said, shrugging it off.

He then moved to r/science, a bastion of intellect and reason, only to find NSFW content occupying every single thread. The Higgs boson was being discussed in a manner Einstein could never have predicted.

“What in the name of...?” He blinked, checking whether he was still on Reddit and not some obscure corner of the dark web.

He decided to investigate, opening his mailbox. "Surely my loyal subjects will inform me what's going on," he mused.

And inform they did. His inbox was flooded with messages, each more colorful than the last. "Spez, you're a legend!" one began, before ending with a plot twist, "...at being a daft cunt."

"Has everyone lost their minds?" he wondered, failing to connect the dots.

He banished anyone who dared cross him, banning his way through his subjects like a monarch with an itchy trigger finger.

As the day wore on, Spez grew restless. His grand plan was not unfolding as expected. But, in his characteristic arrogance, he was certain that the chaos would soon subside and he would ascend as the one true app lord.

In his plush office, surrounded by screens showing falling Reddit stocks, he clutched a crystal ball he bought from a New Age store, whispering, “Soon, my Reddit will be worth billions…” The crystal ball, deciding it had enough, promptly rolled off his desk and shattered on the Italian marble floor.

In the end, a day that began with grand ambitions ended with a lonely billionaire, surrounded by pictures of buttholes, an inbox full of profanity, a shattered crystal ball, and a kingdom in chaos.

Unbeknownst to him, the Reddit community reveled in their rebellion. They might not have won the war yet, but oh, how they celebrated the battles. As the moon replaced the sun, one phrase echoed throughout the kingdom of Reddit, repeated in posts and comments, whispered in DMs, etched into the heart of the rebellion,

"Fuck Spez."

please tell me you did this AFTER systematically devaluing your years of submitted content?

Not sure I'm fully onboard with this to be honest.

I mean, we're all adults living in a civilised society and you missed an apostrophe, it should have been "you're a cunt", not youre.

We all know better for next time ;-)

I tagged him in messages for a few days calling him a cunt but never got banned. I guess DM was the thing to make it be effective?

Should definitely be banned for not using an apostrophe.

Must be a fun place to work 🙄

Sucks because it used to be an awesome job I bet

Surprises me that you get banned for it but whenever someone else call another person that - they get away with either a warning or nothing happens. Lol.

Totally worth it!

Glad to see my permanent ban for reporting one fucking Fox News post on politics for blatant climate change denialism is on level with this. For using the report function to bully/harrass ffs. Laughable!

Place was becoming a shitehole months before these API changes anyway.

Jesus christ

Claim you're Australian, and live in NSW.

Show that it is your constitutional right to call any leader a cunt

https://nswcourts.com.au/articles/court-rules-its-ok-to-refer-to-tony-abbott-as-a-ct/

Sue Reddit

Billionaires are the worst kind of people. I can’t wait for the revolution to come for them. It’s going to be a good time.

They banned me a few days ago and didn't even have the courtesy to tell me why. I asked and got no response.

I got a couple of bans from automod because some precious mods get offended by you overwriting your comments with Power Delete Suite. Some of the comments were like 5 years old or older that were overwritten and got me banned.

Chad move tbh

Well tbf spez is a cunt. A big, silly, greedy cunty cunt.

lmaoooooooooo worth every penny 🤣 🤣 🤣

Wear that permaban like a badge of honor

I wished him to get floppy teeth and only be able to eat shit.

Appeal it.

You know for a fact he put that ban through himself too.

Much like on twitter, you can insult us common folk (and landed gentry), but insult a celebrity or rich person, and that's a ban.

I'm kinda sad they only gave me a 7 day suspension. Gonna have to try harder it seems.

This is an automated message; responses will not be received by deadbeat admins.

I racked up 10 bans on that day shit posting to mods. Felt good man.

called /u/Spez a cunt

This is inaccurate, /u/Spez lacks warmth and depth and has never given anyone pleasure.

With a bang

On the last day the apps still worked I told spez to get fucked like 6 times. Maybe I got banned. Dunno. Never logging in to find out. 🤗

I edited all my comments to Fuck u/spez and deleted them and then deleted my account. They ruined a decent thing.

They started the harassment and bullying by overpricing their API. Ban themselves right IACF.

You did the right thing. You told the truth.