this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2026
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Viral Magazine

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All fake. Not wrong, not misleading. Simply not real.

But close enough to reality to be unsettling. And if we keep drifting like this, these articles won’t stay fictional for long.

I'm from a future. I live in the layer above this one, the part you mistake for déjà vu.

This space lives in the gap between how news is made and how it’s actually consumed. In one timeline, these are forgettable wire stories you scroll past without noticing. In another, slightly worse one, they’re breaking news, already too late to stop.

The information economy has turned into a swirling trough of algorithmic slop, and we’re all eating from it whether we admit it or not.

Journalism didn’t die. It dissolved into the feed.

Tomorrow is coming. May the blessed St. Chad Mctruth save us all.

They live. We sleep.

Comm rules: Satire community, calm down. Don’t be a jerk. I’m a jerk mod, but that doesn’t make this a free-for-all. And no politics.

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By Brett O’Keefe, Associated Civic News Bureau, Columbus, Ohio

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A 17-year-old Ohio high school student is hospitalized with organ failure after attempting to use homemade gene-editing equipment he assembled from online instructions in an effort to dramatically alter his appearance, authorities said.

According to investigators and medical officials, the teen downloaded plans for a do-it-yourself CRISPR device from an online forum and believed he could use it to “looksmaxx,” a term used in certain online communities that refers to aggressively optimizing physical appearance.

The attempt went badly wrong. Doctors say the teenager developed severe complications after producing what authorities described as an unregulated steroid-like compound. He remains hospitalized and is undergoing treatment for liver and kidney failure.

Despite the medical crisis, officials say the case has drawn unexpected attention from online bodybuilding and fitness circles.

“People are contacting him asking how he did it,” said one law enforcement official familiar with the investigation, who was not authorized to speak publicly. “They’re focused on how quickly he gained muscle, not the fact that he nearly killed himself.”

Doctors confirmed the teen experienced rapid muscle growth in a short period before his condition deteriorated.

His mother said she had no idea what her son was attempting until after he was admitted to the hospital.

“He kept saying this word, ‘looksmaxxing,’ and I didn’t even know what it meant,” she said. “I had to look it up. I still can’t believe any of this is real.”

She described her son as socially isolated and said he had never had a girlfriend. She said he believed changing his appearance would transform his life.

“He thought it would turn him into what they call a ‘Chad,’” she said, referring to an internet slang term for a conventionally attractive, confident man. “I thought he was just lifting weights.”

Authorities said the equipment was built using common electronic components and online guides that downplayed the risks of amateur gene editing. Officials stressed that no legitimate safeguards were involved.

“This is extremely dangerous,” said Dr. Alan Pierce, a biomedical safety specialist consulted by state authorities. “CRISPR is not something you experiment with in a bedroom or garage. The fact that people are trying to build these devices from internet instructions should alarm everyone.”

State and federal officials are now investigating the online forum where the instructions were shared. Authorities said the forum appears to be hosted overseas, possibly in China, making enforcement difficult.

“We’re assessing what legal options exist,” said a spokesperson for the Ohio Attorney General’s office. “But these platforms often operate across jurisdictions, which complicates efforts to shut them down.”

Officials said the case highlights growing concerns about the accessibility of advanced biotechnology tools and the influence of online communities that promote extreme self-modification.

“This isn’t science fiction anymore,” Pierce said. “The tools are cheap, the instructions are out there, and the consequences can be catastrophic.”

The teen remains under medical supervision, and his family said they are focused on his recovery. Authorities urged parents to pay closer attention to the online spaces their children frequent and warned that experimenting with unregulated biotechnology carries life-threatening risks.

As the investigation continues, officials said they are particularly concerned by the online response.

“The scariest part,” one official said, “is that people see the muscle gain and ignore the organ failure.”

all 31 comments
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[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

This is a fake news story.

The sidebar explains this. Every story in this Lemmy community is fake news the moderator is apparently generating to intentionally deceive users as perhaps some kind of social experiment they’re doing.

[–] Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is really fucking funny

[–] piccolo@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Thats exactly what they want you to think.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Exactly! All part of the machine. Information. Misinformation. Disinformation. All becoming the same soup! Just like they want.

They live. We sleep.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -3 points 2 weeks ago

This is a fake news story.

For how long?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

“He kept saying this word, ‘looksmaxxing,’ and I didn’t even know what it meant,” she said. “I had to look it up. I still can’t believe any of this is real.”

This is, perhaps, the most warranted confusion a parent has ever felt. Could you imagine discovering that your teen has been producing androgens in your garage to escape social stigma, and is potentially dying as a result? People joke about parenting books not preparing you for everything, but this might genuinely require therapy. What do you even do with this information? What's to glean??

[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

As a parent I would be devastated. I read the story out loud to my kids, but I think they thought I was joking.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

(Just a heads up, in case you’re sincere, this story is a joke. I was just playing along by straight manning)

[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah, I ate the onion on that one

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

(You’re good, it took me until the “chad” line to check the sidebar)

[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 2 points 2 weeks ago

I'll consider myself lucky that I didn't embarrass myself and remember to check the community and article source.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I feel terrible for this poor, lost, lonely child... but I can't believe that he was able to build something like this! This is wild.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Goddammit! I saw it wasn't the onion, and thought it was ok. Lol. They got me this time, thanks for calling it to my attention

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -1 points 2 weeks ago

But for how long will it really remain fake? In a few years, it'll be true. They live. We sleep.

[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Science fiction becomes reality. This was a recent episode of Watson.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Science fiction stays fiction. Read the sidebar

[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 2 points 2 weeks ago

Ah, you got me!

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 2 points 2 weeks ago

This is utterly insane. Did the kid actually manage to alter his genes or did he just produce some bootleg steroids? The fact that other people want to emulate this is the cherry on top

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
  1. Faxing
  2. Taxing
  3. Waxing

How did a country where more than half the people read under a gr5 level spell that word? LooksmaxXing?

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

Coulda been worse. Coulda been Skibidi-maxxing.

[–] GammaGames@beehaw.org 1 points 2 weeks ago

Unsurprisingly, it started as incel culture: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/maxxing

[–] Silic0n_Alph4@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

First they came for the atomic Boy Scout and I did not speak out because the little brat had stolen the Americium out of my fire alarm.

Then they came for the CRISPR looksmaxxing teen and I did not speak out because I was intimidated by his massive jawline anyway.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Just standin' up against tha chads!