this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2026
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Viral Magazine

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All fake. Not wrong, not misleading. Simply not real.

But close enough to reality to be unsettling. And if we keep drifting like this, these articles won’t stay fictional for long.

I'm from a future. I live in the layer above this one, the part you mistake for déjà vu.

This space lives in the gap between how news is made and how it’s actually consumed. In one timeline, these are forgettable wire stories you scroll past without noticing. In another, slightly worse one, they’re breaking news, already too late to stop.

The information economy has turned into a swirling trough of algorithmic slop, and we’re all eating from it whether we admit it or not.

Journalism didn’t die. It dissolved into the feed.

Tomorrow is coming. May the blessed St. Chad Mctruth save us all.

They live. We sleep.

Comm rules: Satire community, calm down. Don’t be a jerk. I’m a jerk mod, but that doesn’t make this a free-for-all. And no politics.

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By Brett O’Keefe, Associated Civic News Bureau, Nevada, Mo.

NEVADA, Mo. — A property dispute is unfolding in this west-central Missouri town after a 42-year-old man built a tiny home on a long-overlooked sliver of land at the edge of a Walmart parking lot, a space he says was never included in the retailer’s original land purchase.

The structure, measuring roughly 12 feet by 20 feet, sits on a narrow 15-by-25-foot parcel tucked into the far corner of the lot near the store building. City officials say the home meets local building and zoning codes, but Walmart argues it disrupts traffic flow and conflicts with the company’s branding.

The resident, Daniel Foster, says he discovered the parcel while reviewing county property records last year and later confirmed that it had been excluded from multiple deeds tied to the site.

“It was just sitting there on paper and in real life,” Foster said. “Nobody claimed it. Nobody used it.”

Foster legally purchased the parcel, according to county records, and began construction earlier this year. The tiny home includes a compact living space, a small fenced front area, and a hand-painted sign advertising his guinea pig breeding business, which he operates on a limited scale.

That sign, Walmart officials say, is part of the problem.

“Our concern is customer safety and the overall experience,” said Walmart spokesperson Andrea Collins in a statement. “The placement of a residence and signage in close proximity to our parking lot creates confusion, potential traffic issues, and visual inconsistency with our store environment.”

Foster disputes that characterization and says he does not use the Walmart parking lot at all.

“I don’t even have a car,” he said. “There’s a public sidewalk right by my place. That’s how I get around.”

He added that he has no ill will toward the retailer and shops there regularly.

“I like the convenience,” Foster said. “I don’t have a problem with Walmart. This isn’t about that.”

City officials said the home passed inspection and complies with setback and occupancy rules. The parcel had been used informally as overflow parking for years, despite never being formally owned by the retailer.

Walmart has not filed a lawsuit but has requested that the city review the situation. Company representatives said they are exploring options.

Foster said the attention has been unexpected. He makes a modest income breeding guinea pigs for pets and small-animal enthusiasts but acknowledged it is not enough to fully support him.

“I might apply for a job at the store,” he said. “Ironically, that’s probably the most stable option right now.”

For now, Foster remains in the tiny home, his guinea pig sign still visible from the edge of the lot.

“I’m not trying to cause trouble,” he said. “I just built a place where the paperwork said I could. That’s it.”

City officials said they are continuing to review the property history but emphasized that no violations have been identified. The situation remains unresolved.

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[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 48 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

If I was him, I'd be like..

'Hey Walmart, you want me to move, you want my land and all? Sure, that'll be $10 million, how badly do you want the land?'

[–] you_are_dust@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

Exactly. How much is your branding worth? If they aren't willing to put some money up, they need to shut up about it.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

That's exactly how this will end, token litigation to try to bankrupt him and a settlement worth more than the property and home.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I get where you're coming from, but I'd advice against doing that. I'm not giving legal advice, IANAL and all that.

If you make an offer to sell, then it may be seen as a money grab. Even if you didnt even ask for an unreasonable amount. If on the other hand, you made a comment like, I can't afford to give it up, it's my only option financially for a home, then maybe Walmart would make an offer instead.

I'm not saying that Walmart would be right in trying to kick you out, but they could easily throw your entire life earnings, daily, at fucking you over legally. So I'd be stepping real carefully.

[–] Dentzy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

While I get where you are coming from... And?? What if it is a money grab? The guy did everything legally, so no one should care about the reasons behind. If he did it for the money, it was simply an investment like any other.

"Yes, I found a loophole and exploited it to try to get big money from a multi-billion corporation" should be a perfectly valid response.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I hear ya.

Question is, how much does Wallfart value their public image, only to get upset about some stupid guinea pigs?

If it were me, I'd start the bargaining chip at $10 million, let them try to talk me down to $1 million, and hope I'd ultimately cash out around $5 million.

Don't get me wrong, I'd ultimately be happy enough with $1 million, but you gotta start the bargaining bid high, and hope you get more than you ultimately expected..

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -1 points 2 weeks ago

Good points!

[–] Tiger@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

They want it in a million for legal fees and a lesson taught to anyone who would get in their way, the bastards.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 45 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh no! Not traffic flow and branding! The horror!!!

We are literally stealing food out of the Waltons' mouths!

[–] wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 week ago (3 children)

This is fake, and this account has created this community of literally-fake news. The way this is being posted without context makes this definitionally misinformation at best, and disinformation at worst. Check this community's sidebar.

To anyone who is reading this, adjust your blocklists or user tags accordingly.

To the OP: you need to put this somewhere in your posts, and not just the sidebar of your community. Many people come here from a feed. So, here I am, doing it for you, since you can't be bothered

Oh shit, you're right. God, that's fucking annoying, no wonder they've been flooding my feed

[–] MIDItheKID@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah this needs to be flagged as satire or something. Like... I love TheOnion, but I also know TheOnion is fake. I appreciate the creativity, but you can't just post it as is. If I didn't stop and visit the comments section, it would have gotten me.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Read the sidebar.

The Onion typically writes the piece straight, like it’s a real news report, and they don’t put “this is satire” inside the article text. The only reason you know the Onion is fake, is because it's so well-known now.

[–] MIDItheKID@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"read the sidebar" is not a great solution when I'm using Connect for Lemmy from my phone, and there is no sidebar.

I suppose you're right about people knowing The Onion is fake because of its popularity. But saying people are losing their sense of edgy satire might be a sign of how crazy things are these days. Like with what is happening in the world right now, a headline and article like this is absolutely plausable. Ice agent kills Good. Nintendo sues Bowser for piracy... Half of the real shit happening out there headlines like an onion article. There's a whole "NotTheOnion" community based on this.

Like I said, I like the creativity. I read the whole article and enjoyed it. But I hate the idea that I need to fact check every little thing that I read, especially in a community that prides themselves on separating from mainstream news media garbage.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I can't help how your app interacts with Lemmy. I use Lemmy desktop version, so no issues here.

But I don't want you to be mad, so here's the truth: The guy in this story actually sells Egyptian hairless rabbits, but I thought guinea pigs were cuter. Rabbits are so vulgar without fur, and I couldn't bear it. Evil, vile little creatures. Soulless. Demonic. Dangerous too. Ever been chased by a pack of hairless rabbits?! It sucks. I promise. So yes, I fibbed a bit! I promise to be a better person from now on. Starting tomorrow. Day after at the latest. Definitely the day after that at the latest if my last latest doesn't pull through.

[–] MIDItheKID@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm not trying to start an argument with a stranger over the internet about what is acceptable and what isn't, but I draw the line here.

I'm not entirely sure where you got this picture, or how, but what I do behind closed doors is none of your business. I am going to have to take something up with the folks over at www.animalsintheflesh.com because clearly my data has been compromised. How else would somebody I've never interacted with before get a picture of the custom order silicone sleeve that I purchased? You internet freaks need to crawl back into your caves and leave us self respecting people to our own personal lives.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I've lived next door to you for the last 3 years. Imma be straight with you right now, Marvin. The neighborhood has already talked about your sleeves because you refuse to put up curtains in your house. So yes, you are behind closed doors, but not behind closed windows!

I may have to go to the local press to see if they will write a story about you!

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[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

What branding? Blue cheaper target? Having a single checkout employee while there’s a line of 50 waiting for self check out? Invading my privacy by checking my property after I’ve already paid? Coming into communities and pricing out all other avenues of community shopping til they close down and all that’s left is a single blue target for an entire community? That branding?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

our concern is customer safety and overall experience

The first part is absolute bullshit, and the latter part is only true in the sense that Walmart wants the customer to have a horrible overall experience.

Source: Worked for Walmart once.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Do you not know how dangerous guinea pigs are, they can turn on you like that. In the wild they can turn it into guinea boars and grow tusks 10 cm long.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 2 points 1 week ago

Preach, brother! Preach!

Source: Worked for Walmart twice. In one day.

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So many questions. How could he afford to buy the land on that income, let alone build the house? Does it have a full set of functioning utilities (i.e. water, electric, heat, etc.)? If not, how does he meet those needs? Just how many guinea pigs does he sell in a typical month? etc., etc.

[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Check the comm.'s community description (sidebar, on desktop).

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ahhh, TY - might've been helpful to use the word "magazine" or some other obvious indicator in the community name. Now I feel like I just ate the onion.

[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Of couse. Yeah; almost every post in the comm. has a ton of comments of people clearly thinking it's a real article and the mod. just comments without ever making clear it's fake. Feels a throw away from just misinfo.

[–] Tilgare@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Thanks for calling this out, because as far as I'm concerned this IS misinformation. It's one thing if you come to the community for a laugh, but something else entirely when it shows up on the front page.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
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[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Not "almost." Read sidebar/description.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
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[–] lazynooblet@lazysoci.al 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Neh-vay-duh, in case you were wondering.

[–] Silic0n_Alph4@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

his guinea pig breeding business, which he operates on a limited scale.

Guinea pigs are quite limited in scale, yes. It’s a good job he’s not trying to breed the somewhat larger Piggus Invictus.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I certainly hope the Walmart branding so close to his house doesn't interfere with his sales. I hear he's quite well known for having high-quality piggies. You walk by his house and ya can hear the little "yeeeeeiit, yeeeeeiit, YEEEEEIIT" calls they make. So cute!

That sign in the window that says "For pets or meat" though... 😐

[–] Silic0n_Alph4@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I’m sure that sign refers to another type of meat or is a spelling mistake… like come and meet the guinea pigs! They’re lovely little creatures.

Tap for spoilerWell done - your creative fiction has now made me sad 😢 Invoking human emotions is all part of art, right?

[–] jdr@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago

They certainly are used for meat, not so much in the USA though.

https://travelfoodatlas.com/peruvian-guinea-pig-cuy-recipe

[–] RumorsOfLove@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Some people just hate pretty things.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

Preach, brother, preach!

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com -5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I like Walmart and I'm a proud Associate. Haters gonna hate. :)

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Why not? Not everyone can be a computer programmer/tech person who works from home and complains that they "only" make $80K a year. I wish anyone could do that, and I wish I were smart enough to!

Come live in Minimumwageland, and see how much things change for ya.

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not trying to shame you for working a minimum wage job, I get it everyone needs to pay bills and the work needs to be done. I'm just not sure why you'd be proud of it. Walmart is a shitty company, they pay their employees starvation wages so they are forced to rely on government aid.

[–] RalphNader2028@reddthat.com 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Because I take pride in any job I do. It might be cleaning toilets, mopping floors, stocking shelves, or whatever work I can find. Whatever the work is, I give it everything I’ve got. I take pride in working hard for a living, even if it’s a job someone else might not admire.

In rural places, there aren’t many job options. So when I take a job, I go in 100 percent. A company itself is just a name. The real thing is the people. The bosses, the managers, and the coworkers I stand beside every day. Those are the people I work for, and I’m proud to stand with them.

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 2 points 1 week ago

Not the person you conversed with so far, but : that makes sense

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