this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2026
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Comradeship // Freechat

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Talk about whatever, respecting the rules established by Lemmygrad. Failing to comply with the rules will grant you a few warnings, insisting on breaking them will grant you a beautiful shiny banwall.

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Hello guys, I hope that you're all doing well, I found out about this place through my friend, you might know him as Kirby so let's just call him that. We all know that the internet is a wasteland as far as leftist spaces go and that's the reason he was on this website for years in the first place.

As far as I know he was banned many months ago for some reason(he didn't tell me, he just told he was banned and gave up on it), but since then he doesn't have a leftist space to go since reddit pretty much purged those some time ago and the same thing on other social media, left is dead in real life here and not to mention constant western oriented content, comments and news, it got particularly intense lately.

During the recent events in the past few months, Kirby is on downward spiral and his sanity is worrying me. Almost every time we met he had unhinged rants about western white people, how he wants Yellowstone to explode and destroy United States after every non-western is evacuated, how he wants to watch cartels execute white Americans, especially republicans, how he personally wants to kill every western and western-aligned leader starting with American presidents and Erdogan and is cheering on NATO infighting over Greenland. Being a leftist, I also heavily dislike the west, but I wouldn't want a nuclear war or volcanic cataclysm to take place because of it, he was always hating on west, but never said stuff this unhinged, stuff that I wrote isn't even scratching the surface of everything he said. When he's on PC and not on the internet, he's playing GTA V and constantly killing cops and in the past few weeks downloaded probably every single game where you can kill American soldiers.

His most recent rant which I had to listen to was 3 days ago and it was about how ''westerners destroyed/ruined Godzilla'', it went on and on for an entire hour however unbelievable that sounds and it was... interesting to say the least... Certainly more so than his usual constant rants about vampires in western media. I'm not into Godzilla and I just casually watched a couple of movies some years ago and so I didn't understand more than half the stuff he said.

He has a brother and sister, I've been hanging around with his brother almost just as much as with him during school and he's pretty much the same in opinions except he's level headed and doesn't have bursts of anger. His older sister also shares same opinions, is extremely LGBT phobic, goes on rants and introduced him to Terrifier movies, so that's all you need to know about her sanity. So family isn't going to help in this in any way.

I know him since 2012, we grew up together and am extremely saddened to see him go from a silly guy with dark humor to this... Since he's been here for years, you probably know how he was online unlike me, so please, If you have some advice or any way to help, to bring him back and talk to him, tell me, why did this happen to him all of a sudden.

Thank you in advance.

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[–] SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Kirby went on several unhinged rants insulting other members of our communities and by the look of your post he has 1) not learned a fucking thing in the meantime and 2) is not sorry about his behavior, so personally I see no reason to unban

[–] chesmotorcycle@lemmygrad.ml 17 points 1 month ago

Agree. This space will not benefit him or other users, especially trans comrades, in his current state.

[–] ahriboy@lemmygrad.ml 27 points 1 month ago (4 children)

He needs to seek professional help. Remember, Lemmy, any kind of social media are not a way to address mental health problems. Months ago, I survived some mental health problems without discussing it even further, and softly and indirectly sought professional help to address some of my concerns.

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[–] cfgaussian@lemmygrad.ml 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

If a person is spiraling, emotionally unstable and prone to saying extreme things that will likely lead to conflict and argument and could even attract unwanted attention from the feds, then perhaps this is not the right place for them at this point in time. We are a welcoming community and we try to help as best we can when someone is struggling but there are limits to what we can do. Online spaces are not a replacement for IRL community and IRL help, especially online spaces focused around discussing politics which are likely to exacerbate distress and anxiety. A certain amount of emotional stability is required to be able to have calm discussions, engage in self-reflection, and accept criticism without defensively lashing out. They are still free to lurk of course. You don't necessarily need to actively engage with a site like this to get something valuable and educational out of it.

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

He never did anything illegal, but is definitely prone to anger. I've suggested it because he doesn't have any community space left. The main thing is the fact that he doesn't think that he needs help in the first place, as I said, his family is the way it is so there's no way to do anything despite the fact that we're close in real life. I really don't know what to do at this point and that's why I asked for advice.

[–] sovietsnake@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not that I don't feel you, but I'm unsure how much help the community can be if he's that unstable and doesn't want to listen to diverging opinions. I know he's probably in a tough situation economically and that's why this is the second best bet, but he clearly needs professional help, not a communist forum. Just my two cents, though.

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml -1 points 1 month ago

Maybe by having someone to talk to him who's on the same page politically would help considering that especially in a few past months, it's been rough and his condition worsened under these circumstances. I'm also for him getting any help, but the problem is that he doesn't think he needs it in the first place. Not to mention his family members whom I mentioned who are either the same or far worse.

[–] Are_Euclidding_Me@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm the person who argued with Kirby last, the one who tried to get him to understand that his opinions on trans and intersex people are bigoted shit and he needs to change them. He (and his brother) were entirely unwilling to listen to me. Kirby's first comment back after a month long temp ban was to jump right back in to his argument with me.

So I'm wary of him. However, if he promises to not make any comments about gender or sexuality and as long as he is not made a moderator, I would be quite ok with unbanning him. As long we're all on the same page that further queer- or intersex-phobia will get him immediately banned again, I say go ahead and unban him

[–] KrupskayaPraxis@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I agree. But what were his opinions on trans and intersex people? I completely missed that

[–] Are_Euclidding_Me@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Here's a link to the exchange. There are a couple removed comments by Kirby, those should still be in the hexbear modlog probably, but I didn't actually go looking for them, I think the thread is clear enough even with the missing comments.

https://hexbear.net/comment/6302820

[–] KrupskayaPraxis@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Damn, it sucks that even in communist spaces us trans people's existences are being debated

[–] Are_Euclidding_Me@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

Yup! And calling people born with ambiguous genitalia "deformed" and saying they should be forced to undergo surgery to "correct" their genitals is so incredibly shitty. The ban was well-deserved, for sure

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml -2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He didn’t mention anything about it, but his sister is extremely LGBT phobic so that was definitely influenced by her considering that he never had anything about LGBT folks in real life.

[–] Are_Euclidding_Me@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

so that was definitely influenced by her

Oh cool, so Kirby only has bigoted beliefs because his sister has them. Is Kirby incapable of independent thought?

I also don't care what Kirby told you about his ban. The inciting incident has been linked multiple times in this thread. There's also a link to a separate thread in which he repeatedly doubles down on bigotry, on a different topic. You can read these for yourself and see the disgusting bigotry on display.

I've changed my mind about being ok with him coming back. I hadn't realized him doubling down on bigotry was a pattern. Now that I see it is, no thanks.

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml -4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Firstly, he didn't tell me anything about it beyond the fact that he was banned and he didn't mentioned it since because he most probably forgot about this website, don't blame me for his doings, I didn't know every detail about what he's doing on social media. The only reason I came here to ask for help, advice or someone to talk to him because I ran out of options after the past few months and am saddened to see my friend whom I know since 2012 be in this situation.

He was never against towards people of different sexual orientation, even though that wasn't a big thing here and was looked down upon when we went to school together, he himself is an asexual. So far from what I've read in comments, it was a matter of gender or sex and not the sexual orientation per see. I'm not a biologist or a doctor so I can't say for sure, but since we're from Eastern Europe/Balkans, people don't care about this here at all, the consensus is that there's male and female and then a person is either attracted to one, both or no one.

As for his sister, she's openly hostile to LGBT and despises gay women and trans people in particular, same thing with his mother and his step father is a Muslim so it's really a miracle that he isn't LGBT phobic.

[–] Are_Euclidding_Me@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

it's really a miracle that he isn't LGBT phobic.

He sure is queerphobic, in that he refuses to change the queerphobic beliefs he clearly holds.

I don't know why you keep repeating this line as though it's true. It isn't.

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml -3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He never had anything against gay people, unlike most of his family, so he isn't.

[–] Are_Euclidding_Me@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A lot of racists have black friends

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml -4 points 1 month ago

Your point?

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So your friend is an unhinged transphobe and people are talking about unbanning? Shouldn't lemmygrad worry about it's users here, especially our trans comrades, than to allow folks to spread hate?

Like sorry your friend is in a bad place but lemmy isn't a therapists couch.

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml 0 points 1 month ago

He didn't mention anything about trans people, but his sister is extremely LGBT phobic while his mother has the same opinions so that was definitely influenced by them considering that he never had anything about LGBT folks in real life.

[–] sunbleachedfly@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Kirby talked down to me while spouting men's rights talking points and also denied ever saying anything transphobic in the same thread. Considering the fact that he didn't tell you anything about his ban I doubt he has reflected even in the slightest about it. I am personally not comfortable having him back, because he seemed to take it upon himself to take over every thread at the time that was about queerness or sexism, choking out the possibility for anyone learning or understanding about them while at the same time making it unsafe for queer and femme comrades. Can you honestly tell me that he wouldn't do that again?

There are a couple comrades on this thread who have said that they would be fine with having him back, and while I usually appreciate their analysis, I am a bit skeptical of their seriousness to combat transphobia as a result.

https://lemmygrad.ml/comment/6820805

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[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In my opinion, you are being intentionally obtuse and have the capability and resources to gather information, listen to others and come to your own conclusions.

You are being presented with multiple links to his comments, modlogs and various other inflammatory actions, yet you continuously deflect blame or debate on what is "homophobic" instead of looking at the obvious; calling those born outside of the social "sex binary" deformed and you don't come to any conclusion of your own that there might be something beyond that? Specifically, beyond that train of thought?

Instead of coming to any conclusion with the evidence you have, you deflect blame onto his family and debate-pervert about what's "Homophobic"?

Like come on.

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do you even know what homophobia is? It's a hatred and discrimination against gay and bisexual people.

I didn't see where exactly did my friend say anything against them, just as he never did in real life. The only thing I saw from this is that he said that there are 2 genders and for some reason talked about people who are born with different sexual organs. Please tell me where is homophobia in this?

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

what is “homophobic” instead of looking at the obvious; calling those born outside of the social “sex binary” deformed

"Homophobia" can be used as a general slang for discrimination against LGBTQ. It has further connotations and extension of the word in certain situations; just like how other pejoratives evolve from words that have, yes, an objective use-form. Let's try and think a little harder here, alright?

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 month ago

LGBTQ is lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer, he didn't tell anything about lesbian, gay, bi or trans people. What was the problem?

[–] ComradeRandy@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

"leftist" "Wants Yellowstone to explode" Do you mean blackstone or is it seriously yellowstone? Keep him away from posadism lmao

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 1 month ago

Yes, Yellowstone, the supervolacno

[–] AnarchoBolshevik@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I agree. Although his idea of sex was questionable, a permanent ban is too long for a user who has made plenty of fine contributions; I think that five months is long enough for him to learn his lesson. I wouldn’t trust him with moderator privileges again, but as an ordinary user we should give him a second chance. Undo the ban.

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

He definitely deserves a respite from this. And from what I've read in reasons he was banned, I can say that even though he said all the stuff I stated and can be intense, he isn't and was never transphobic nor LGBT phobic in general.

[–] Are_Euclidding_Me@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

I don't want this thread to turn into a fight, but I feel I have to address one piece of your comment here: yes, Kirby has some trans- and intersex-phobic beliefs. You are not in a position to say he doesn't, when his own words show so clearly that he does.

Let me make a slightly broader point: people who are not themselves marginalized have huge blindspots about the marginalization they do not themselves experience.

As a white person, I'm sure I have blindspots regarding race, much as I've tried to learn and be better about racial issues than I was raised to be. If a comrade told me I had said something racist, the correct response from me isn't "nuh-uh, I'm not a racist", it's "oops, I have some brainworms to unlearn, thanks for pointing that out to me".

Same thing with Kirby here. He, his brother, and now you have all said "Kirby isn't transphobic". But he sure does have some trans- and intersex-phobic beliefs that he is apparently unwilling to examine.

[–] big_spoon@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 1 month ago

oh, i remember him... i don't remember why he was banned, but in comments seems that he probably was being venomously transphobic and kinda agressive. maybe he should be unbanned if he promises to behave

[–] Makan@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Kirbywithawhip?

I think the last few weeks in particular have been stressful.

I really liked him. We were online friends or at least friendly to one another. It's a shame that he was banned from here.

I want them back.

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes, that's him, he was banned few months ago, I think in summer.

That's great to hear, since New Year it's been really rough for him so if he had someone to talk to and a safe space, he'd definitely feel better. If you can, ask whoever had a beef with him here to bring him.

[–] Makan@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Hey, could you give me their Discord handle?

I was a good friend with them.

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

freddy9853

It may definitely help him if you two reconnected.

[–] Makan@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 1 month ago

Thank you so much! I really missed him.

[–] ComradeSalad@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

This is the most obvious alt I have ever seen lmao

The magical friend who shows up 14 hours after Kirby’s ban, no posts or comments beyond this one, and the same speech mannerisms

[–] Djole2033@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 month ago

If only he was smart enough to seek help he needs and knew he needs it in the first place.

He was banned in summer, not recently, it's been months and the only reason I came here is because I'm running out of options. But anyhow, you can rest assured that he won't be coming back here considering his reaction when he found through a friend on Discord that I posted this.

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