I love how Leo Sturbgetter's cow detangling firm is taking him all over America for business.
this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2026
36 points (95.0% liked)
The Onion
7016 readers
288 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
Is that the person that jerks off bulls for semen? It is a real thing, breeding bull semen can be worth more than gold supposedly.
He's a cow detangler. Every now and then your cows get tangled, kind of like a rat king, or maybe they get their legs twisted around each other like bread ties.
Here is a helpful resource to understand how important it is to keep your cows straightened out.
Point is, every time the Onion interviews him, he's in a new state. But he's still a cow detangler. So I suppose he's a roving cow detangler, who gets the cows loose from each other and then travels to the next call.
Not the Onion, I write these just for Lemmy.
10/10 running gag, no notes
Theorizing that one could time-travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Leo Sturbgetter stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator… and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing cattle that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to detangle them for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Leo can see and hear. And so Dr. Sturbgetter finds himself leaping from pasture to pasture, striving to detangle what once became tangled, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
One end of the broom is for scratching and the other end is for reversing quantum cow entanglement
Now I’m going to spend all day trying to find a Quantum Leap cow pun.
That is deep!
Holy shit this really does work with any David Byrne lyric.
My building has every convenience. It's gonna make life easy for me. It's gonna be easy to get things done. I will relax along with my loved ones. Loved ones, loved ones visit the building.
You start a conversation, you can't even finish it.
You're talking a lot, but you're not saying anything. When I have nothing to say my lips are sealed, say something once, why say it again?
Bill was a man who grew too big.
It didn't matter what he did the girls would always run away
When everybody laughs at you it can be humiliating
OP you're a monster.
"I hate people when they're not polite"
I’m gonna make you stay up all night because of this, aren’t I?
Steven Miller attempted to then quote Jay-Z, but was stopped by every white person present.
Who do I send the cleaning bill to for this one? My shirt is soaked in tea and snot.
Unfortunately that just counts as one of your 99 problems.
Love from the bottom to the top
We're on a Road to Nowhere