this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2026
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Kristi Noem told a preposterous story demonizing immigrants in high-profile public remarks alongside President Donald Trump and on Fox News last summer, about a cannibal who ate other people and then, on his Immigration and Customs Enforcement deportation flight, began to eat himself. At the time, The Intercept was unable to substantiate any part of the tale.

Now, three officials from federal law enforcement agencies — including Noem’s own Department of Homeland Security — with knowledge of the allegations say the entire story was fabricated.

“It is completely false,” said one senior law enforcement official who is familiar with the allegation but not authorized to speak publicly on the subject.

Two other federal law enforcement officials echoed this, telling The Intercept that the claims were ludicrous and that there was no evidence corroborating the story.

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[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 14 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

That settles it. Trump (and others in the Epstein class) were doing cannibalism.

It's always projection.

[–] rayyy@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

Trump (and others in the Epstein class) were doing cannibalism

YES! In fact, cannibalism was mentioned 52 times in the Trump-Epstein files.

[–] TheAsianDonKnots@lemmy.zip 16 points 23 hours ago

“They go to a different school, you probably wouldn’t know them” -ICE Barbie

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 1 points 14 hours ago

It's almost like cannibals hold high government offices and take private jets to private islands or possibly end up in prison for not speaking properly at all times of said high office holders. Getting uppity, some say.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 8 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Plastic doesn't age well I see.

She's 54. Act like it.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 6 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Though on the other hand, she does currently look insane, so that does seem to fit her.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 6 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

I usually refrain myself from commenting on other people's appearances, because God knows I was last in queue, but when someone goes out of their way, and spends lots of money to look like a clown, it's only fair for them and everyone else to laugh at them.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 1 points 14 hours ago

And act like a clown

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 4 points 21 hours ago

Canicide does that to a person.

[–] Nobodyjustnobody@sh.itjust.works 4 points 20 hours ago

I can't believe she's only ten years older than me, I hope the next decade isn't as rough on me.

Also, she's a Nazi

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Assuming Noem wasn't lying (I know, a stretch) why the fuck would you not charge a cannibal with crimes? What does deporting do?

[–] SkavarSharraddas@gehirneimer.de 14 points 23 hours ago

If you deport a cannibal to another country they will eat the people there, so there's less of them to come into your country. Isn't that obvious?

[–] frongt@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why imprison them domestically when you could just deport them and make it another country's problem?

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Can't you argue deporting a dangerous person without bringing them to justice endangers absolutely everyone?

If I could come here and be a cannibal, what she is saying the worst thing that happens to me is I get deported back home?

[–] frongt@lemmy.zip 1 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Typically they're imprisoned in their home countries if they're really a threat to the public.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

Often, they're imprisoned (or executed) even if they aren't

[–] usrtrv@sh.itjust.works 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (2 children)

Also is the act of canabalism in and of itself a crime? If I eat my own leg, who's the victim?

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 8 points 23 hours ago
[–] Kirp123@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Pretty sure it's not an actual crime in most places. Most cannibals are also murderers or they are charged with crimes related to corpse desecration.

[–] usrtrv@sh.itjust.works 2 points 22 hours ago

Exactly, this is just a ploy to conjure up emotions.

[–] joekar1990@lemmy.world 8 points 23 hours ago

What you are kidding me?! They lied!? Not the party that told us they were eating the cats, they're eating the dogs!

[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 7 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

"I saw him eat his fingernails, TELL ME THAT ISN'T CANNIBALISM!"

[–] paul@lemmy.org 2 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Even worse it's.....AUTOCANNIBALISM!! DUN DUN

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 1 points 14 hours ago
[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago

So like is this a confession?

[–] aeration1217@lemmy.org 4 points 22 hours ago

completely on brand for a bunch of Christians or faux Christian conservatives

[–] grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 20 hours ago

Magamuffins just love eating up this sorta crap…