so, who is collecting the monkey piss ? and do they put that on their immigration card as to "purpose of visit" when they arrive or are they engaging locals to collect the monkey piss ? Is there a LinkedIn job description ? how do they advertise for the position ?
this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2026
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Here you go:
"That thankless task fell to Aleksey Maro, a UCB graduate student who spent last summer in Ngogo, sleeping in trees—protected from the constant streams by an umbrella—to collect urine samples. Sharifah Namaganda, an Ugandan graduate student at the University of Michigan, showed him how to make shallow bowls out of plastic bags hung on forked twigs for more efficient collection. He also collected samples from puddles of urine on the forest floor."
https://arstechnica.com/science/2026/02/boozy-chimps-fail-urine-test-confirm-hotly-debated-theory/
The umbrella was for constant streams of...what exactly?
Constant streams of science, it was just raining down research over there.
So do all wild mammals that live near fruit bearing trees I'm sure. That's kind of the gig. It's not like they're cultivating their food or checking for spoilage. They're opportunistic feeders, so fruit on the ground that isn't overly spoiled is going to be a meal.
Ever seen drunk Deer or Moose?
Bees get drunk all the time on fermented fruit. Hives even have rules to not let drunk bees back in the hive until they sober up
Parrots have been known to purposefully get drunk. I had a small type of parrot once and he would drink, I shared wine, beer, gin and tonic, and such, he would drink a bit then cut himself off after a certain amount, and would throw it around with his beak, but that's a thing with that breed they are known for throwing fruit off of trees for no apparent reason.
I have the same rule at my house. Those little fuckers get too rowdy when they are drunk.
Bees are happy drunks at least, it's the wasps I've a problem with it, they are belligerant, along the lines of : What Are You Looking At? Hey big dude with the fancy stuff, has anyone told you you're an asshole? What, what are you going to do? Is how the conversation often goes.
But I know they do eat rotten fruit. Actually it explains a lot about wasps realizing they might often be drunk.
TIL wasps are the trailer park dudes of the insect world
The problem with wasps is they steal your drinks. Flying around being a nuisance, then as soon as you crack a cold one, they dive right in and drink until they drown. They have no sense of portion control and they never buy you a round.
Ever seen a drunk deer or moose
I have not. But please go on
Poor guys probably don’t even realize what’s going on
Deer have been observed intentionally stomping on windfallen fruit and returning days later to eat it and get drunk. I think they know what they are doing, it's just fun.
Ah so they can’t plead ignorance. Sneaky fellas
So... like nearly everybody who shot glass shells at the command bridge?
Just go to the next big city this weekend. lots of stag parties going on
1974 documentary "Animals Are Beautiful People" had a scene where various african animals get drunk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBUwKBrNgm8
My thoughts exactly. Grandparents had an apple tree that hung over the neighbors yard and dropped apples, which rotted and fermented. The neighbor's donkey would eat them up all the time and get blitzed off his ass.
Like they aren't dangerous enough.
And how does one collect wild chimp urine? "Here, Bobo! In the cup! In the cup, boy! No, not on your sister! In the cup!"
How do they collect wild chimp urine for testing?
They were getting drunk when drinking it
By holding a bag below them when they pee or pipetted from pooled urine on leaf litter
Urine from individually identified chimpanzees was collected opportunistically and non-invasively using a pipette from fresh and dry leaf litter. Chimpanzees predictably urinate just prior to leaving a fruit crop and can often be seen preparing to do so by climbing to a lower branch of a tree. Urination on the ground is often accompanied by defaecation, and in these cases, urine was pipetted from pools in the leaf litter opposite the faeces. Samples were only collected on dry days, since rainwater on understory leaves cannot be visually differentiated from urine. Urine may also be collected directly from underneath urinating chimpanzees by holding out a clean disposable plastic bag placed over the end of a forked branch; urine samples collected from leaf litter were previously shown not to significantly affect measured hormone levels relative to samples collected using a plastic bag
Imagine spending weeks in the jungle holding a camouflaged urine collection bag under a chimpanzee while also dodging falling chimpanzee shit. What a life.
No standups, no Workday goals, just nature. And piss. And flying shit. What a lucky guy.
carefully
I assume they’d use a urine cup
When asked to participate in Karaoke, all the drunk apes rate their ability to sing higher than it actually was.
I hope someone took their keys.