This makes me sad. Have you talked to him about how you feel, to see if he is willing to work with you to make you feel more valued in the relationship?
this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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Thanks. I asked him if we could hang out like old times, he said "I don't know". I asked if he would spend more time with me and he said "I don't know, maybe when my other boyfriend is busy"
Yeah that's not a healthy way to treat a serious partner
As someone who has no one at all, this is just so heartbreaking to me. If I was lucky enough to be in a poly relationship, and my partner came to me and told me they felt like you have explained, I would do everything I could to try to reverse that feeling. Why would I be in a relationship with them at all if I didn't want them to feel loved?
Your feelings matter, and it hurts me immensely that he isn't taking them seriously or giving you the kindness and support you deserve for being open about your feelings. I wish I could give you a hug right now. You deserve comfort and understanding, not blithe dismissal like you got. I'm so so sorry that you're going through this.
Thank you 🫂 My therapist at group said to break up if he didn’t meet my needs. I’m giving him one more chance if we ever hang out later
Doesn't sound like he cares about you. Does he deserve your love? Is there any line that if he crossed you would stop loving him?
Thanks, probably if he started outright saying he didn’t care about me like my one5th grade “ex” said to me
This is called doormatting yourself. You deserve better.
I’m not much into poly-amorous (nearing my 60s, I've been sharing my life with my spouse for almost 30 years now and if neither of us are saints we’ve also never felt any need to ‘enrich’ our couple with more participants) but if this is how you feel maybe that is not for you? I mean that specific partner(s), or the poly-amorous thing in general?
I obviously don’t know what's the issue, how could I, but what I can tell you without any doubt that if you feel like shit, which it seems you do, it’s a safe warning sign that there is an issue. And that is up to you to see what’s causing that. And to decide how to correct it.
No matter how you decide to work on it, alone or with your partner(s) you better have a clear understanding of what the issue is beforehand and be ready to face not real... not pleasant things.
Allow me to insist one last time: I' don't know poly-amorous but I do know that no relationship, no matter its form, should make anyone involved belittled or a mere 'extra'. I don't even need to know you personally to be sure of that :)
poly relationships do be like that sometimes. but if you get like you need more attention, ask for it. open communication is the most important part of any relationship.
I’ve tried, he just says he doesn’t know
Good luck!!!