this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2026
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The Onion

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[–] tal@lemmy.today 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

DUE TO TO THE TENOR AND DEPTH OF THIS FEMALE ANGEL’S LOVE MAKING

Um. Angels aren't normally considered to have gender.

searches

https://biblehub.com/q/do_angels_have_a_specific_gender.htm

While angels are frequently depicted using masculine pronouns and described as appearing in male form, Scripture does not teach that they possess gender in the human, biological sense.

EDIT: Ah, finished reading the article:

At press time, global markets had reportedly crashed to their lowest point this year after Trump posted a follow-up message stating that the angel he had sex with may have in fact been an alien.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

“I AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS AN ANGEL HAS VISITED ME IN MY SLEEP AND I HAVE HAD VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE SEX WITH IT,”

Imagining Trump as one of the residents of Sodom wanting to rape the two angels is... traumatic.

How old is Angel?

[–] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 2 points 2 days ago

Jeffrey’s Angels, the TV reboot no-one wants to see.

[–] m3t00@midwest.social 2 points 2 days ago

pump and dump

[–] auntieclokwise@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I mean we've known for awhile that Trump and Satan are a thing, thanks to South Park's documentary work. And, last I checked, Satan was an angel.

[–] grranibal@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

An archangel actually I believe

[–] auntieclokwise@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hadn't heard that. Wikipedia doesn't mention it. Wouldn't matter anyway because archangel is a subtype or rank of angel. I suppose technically, he's a fallen angel.

[–] grranibal@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

I don’t remember where I heard it, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was from a movie or tv show XD

So… source: my bad memory