Go into your router and shape the allocated bandwidth to their PC lol... And don't say anything.
this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Yep this one
As others have said, probably best to just enforce at the router level...
Before anyone goes to war, it's probably worth even clarifying if it's true or not. I had a roommate convinced I was "hogging bandwidth" but our internet was just shitty. Over copper. Very inconsistent. I had to literally shut off everything i had to convince them it wasn't even me.
They swore up and down it was me. There was a pattern. It was the only explanation.
The pattern is usually just congestion by other people using the Internet from the same provider. It'll get better once people are off to work and worse once they come back home.
Look into QoS for your router.
Talk to them about it like adults? But I gather these are children, so I don't know.
How about both: Adult-Childrens 🫠
(I also never felt like I grew up either)
Deauth them off the WiFi repeatedly for the shits and giggles
?
De auth attack? How?
Too noob to do it...
Does it even work for wifi 5/6?
WPA3?
Maybe I'm gonna microwave something for 5 hours Trollolol (2.4ghz interference)
xD
If you have access to the router, you could probably adjust their device to have random packet loss. Which would effectively slow them down, might piss them off.
As for the deauth attack, it definitely isn't "easy". But here's a tool to do it. https://github.com/aircrack-ng/mdk4. However I doubt this'll be interesting to you.
Also, microwave (2.4GHz interference) won't affect Wifi 5/6, given they're in the 5+GHz range
I am the network. If you're hogging all the bandwidth I'm knocking your device's priority down and maybe even gating it to 1/2 or 1/4 the total bandwidth. If you cant manage the shared resources respectfully it will be managed for you.
Get a better router. Once my kids started gaming, I started lagging bad. The cheap routers just can't keep up.
Oh... lmao... we just use the comcast/xfinity gateway thing...
That'll do it. Your ISP isn't going to give you a decent router, but they'll probably charge you like it's a world-class one.
There's your problem! Those things are made by the lowest bidder and offer poor reception. As well try putting his devices on a different wifi channel, too many devices on one channel clogs the channel and slows it down.
Maybe talk to your folks about adjusting router settings. That way you can avoid confrontation by going straight to your parents.
Ethernet cable
Throw a slice of cheese on their head.
I mean, it can't hurt, and it'd be funny. Also, if you post video it might go viral.
Disassemble router, throw memory sticks like a rich person.
kill.
He locks his room at night, slicing the throat is a no-go.
Perhaps poisoning the entire family?
I have access to the rice cooker... just something colorless and tasteless will do.
Does Cyanide work? Is it detectable?
Perhaps gasoline to the house and set it on fire while everyone is asleep? And sabotage the 911 system?
Hmmm choices choices...
(This comment is a joke, I do not advocate murder)
Cyanide smells like almonds.
I actually have no idea what cyanide even is.
I hear that supposedly its in fruit cores
Like the seed(?) thing in the middle of cherries?
crush them into powder and voila, cyanide?
Easier to kill them all with big sad like usual ;(
LOVE*
spoiler
LEVEL OF VIOLENCE
I don't know about cherries, but there's a little bit of cyanide in apple seeds. You'd need a lot of apple seeds to get a lethal dosage of cyanide though.
Router QoS. Set the router to prioritize your traffic based on IP. What are they doing that's consuming the bandwidth? The only times it's been an issue in our house has been when I've switched media with no speed restrictions. Past large and fast downloads, if you have high speed internet, the pipe shouldn't be congested. Otherwise, be confrontational then escalate if behaviors don't change.
Dont set it to prior your device because then youre doing the same thing. Deprio certain types of traffic that tends to saturate the bandwidth like streaming and downloading.
Hog it first
Anything fun to download?
Like something very big, download, once its done, automatically delete it and redownload it, hog it 24/7 xD
You can torrent something popular and seed it, which will make it always use bandwidth
I move out of the early 2000.