chat

My gut reaction is that you could be a little more flexible in your relationships. Not everyone is going to be as all-in as you are. Maybe they'll get there politically, maybe they are there and just not comfortable playing certain roles. If you genuinely can't be satisfied with that, then you'll have to act accordingly. Otherwise, I'd suggest more of a "meeting where they're at" attitude when it comes to people you love. Not compromising your own principles, but allowing them space for their own. Again, if you can't, you can't. That's valid. In my experience though, my relationships have been a journey of mutual growth and change.

I’d rather have financial independence, a minimum amount of comfort, a cushy office job, and funnel money to China and keep my communism to myself and not advance communism in any meaningful way; rather than be a social pariah, broke, and staunchly outspoken communist yet still not advance communism in any meaningful way

Call it blackpilled, fake leftist, class traitor, that’s okay. I would probably agree. I don’t think your way is wrong.

But until the vanguard are at my door and landlords hang in the streets, I will be okay materially supporting China’s revolution instead of starting one myself. To be frank, that’s doing more to advance communism than most Western online leftists are doing.

I don’t think a movement like Mao’s is possible in the modern world. Yes, that’s literally what Lenin thought before he pressed the communism button too. But I can’t sacrifice my only hope of retirement for an ideal that is more smoke than substance at this point.

This is a really tough thing to be going through. Very reasonable on your part all things considered. I hope what I'm going to reply with isn't too hard nosed for where you're at in figuring things out.

Your parents have probably lived a lifetime of compromises and see your unwillingness to compromise as a sign of immaturity.

You mentioned power level concealment elsewhere and I would suggest based on your description of your parents and your dynamic that yes, you probably should start tamping way the fuck down on what you share around and say to your parents.

Not just to smooth the road in future as far as your relationship with them, but as a basic matter of discipline and opsec. You shouldn't cut them off and isolate yourself, but you don't have to give them insight into the extent of your convictions if you plan to do dangerous illegal shit at any point which obviously it sounds like you very much intend to stay open to.

(Otherwise all of this is moot and you could even reconsider compromise with your beau.)

Its okay to love a liberal but you can't trust them not to rat you out or otherwise betray you even by accident, or with naive good will and ignorance of real consequences.

Parents often do irrational destructive things to their children to retain a sense of control (not over their child per se but in general) especially when they think their children are making self destructive choices. Genuine love can motivate real violence by way of liberal ignorance.

Don't let your love for them be the reason you get locked up or killed.

It's wonderful and inspiring how you're vocal and serious about anti-fascist politics and actual praxis. Though, just to get the complete picture: is this really about a fundamental difference in values, or are simple material concerns hiding behind it? Because, in my experience, they often are and you focus suspiciously on ideology.

You even mention she agrees with you in theory, but not about the way you're going about praxis. So if she already has a problem with you being vocal and doing legal stuff and attending protests (even if there is some repression and criminalization) and how you're being perceived by burgoise neighbors, then I see your concern. If she somehow has a problem with this bare minimum, I can absolutely see your side. I don't think, partners absolutely have to mirror each other's level of activism, but doing this much without forcing her to join every protest should be no problem.

But, if it's about more than that, then it depends. Is it about actual concrete stuff you're doing, that's actually putting yourself and potentially her in real danger? Then the question is about how good your support network is (and about informed consent, but I don't think that's the problem, since you talk about it). The support network is important, because it's the difference between doing dangerous self-destructive adventurism and strategic calculated risk taking as part of a larger plan and movement. The support network could be a loose movement with tight cells, a wide network of close friends, a party, an org or anything. Think: "If I'm arrested, who would bail me out, sleep in a car to welcome me when I'm out, pay legal fees and so on?" Every good movement or org should cover at least that much. It would be too much to put on just one close partner. In this case, I would understand, if she has a problem if you go ahead without building that network first, potentially putting all that on her. A solution could be to shift your activism towards network building, before doing more serious stuff.

On the other hand, you mentioned moving to somewhere inside the imperial core. Are you currently in the periphery? Than I get it, the increased levels of hypocrisy and racism in the US and Europe might be too much. Immigrants rely a lot on networks of other immigrants to get by. Though the leftist comrades might be all the more thankful to have you.

If your not from outside the core, for example if it's about moving from the US to Germany, it wouldn't be a fundamental change. Organizing in both countries around Palestine is totally possible and many people in almost every city do it and offer support. Yes, there is repression, but there are many orgs who support each other and many roles within those orgs, some less exposed than others. You could definitely continue to be active to a similar level when moving from one imperial core country to another. Only the strategies would need to change. So, if you not wanting to move is part of the issue and activism is the deal breaker, you might want to contact orgs in that country and ask them about ways to get involved. There are cool people everywhere, it just might be harder to find them in some places. Remember there will be other people who moved there.

Maybe question, if it's really about political values or more about not giving up the network you already have where you are. That's a valid concern of course, but a purely practical one. Separate it from fundamental values.

I might be way way off with everything I just wrote, since I don't really know your situation, so I apologize in advance, if that's the case. Sending lots of solidarity and love your way comrade!

What is the point of an artist who doesn't have conviction in their beliefs? I don't know your girlfriend, I don't know her art, but art is actually the best positioned "job" to have a stance on something. That is the point of it, and you can always continue to do it even if certain funders get squeamish.

To prioritize a position in the arts "industry" over the expression of an actual truth, your real beliefs, is pointless. It's hollow art, it's meaningless money-laundering, and artists in that position aren't worth whatever it is they think they're trying to say with their art.

No advice or opinion about your relationship, just a thought about how useless "art" that cowers rather than fearlessly expressing the self is. Actually, I would go farther and say that the cowardice is an honest and true facet of the self, and that the profession of a belief in a value that you aren't willing to live is the true performance.

I personally think it boils down to class interests. You can sort of see it in the idea of what Trotskyist types call "Permanent revolution"

They basically believe that ultimately people are -all- interested in their class interests. This allows them to focus on their own because they're "kind hearted", without being hypocritical. A way to combat cognitive dissonance.

It's easy to avoid some imperial treats, but to go your whole life without any imperialist treats, how difficult is that? I don't mean in like a bullshit ultra way. I mean once you achieve class consciousness, from that point forward, can you dedicate your life to the people? It's best to just be honest and say: "Nah today I won't be serving the cause I'll be (insert what you wanna do and why here)" most people will be like this, not everyone can be like Che, if it was possible we'd already be there, because everyone deep down knows we should be helping the people instead of doing escapism, but because such a lifestyle is unsustainable to most people, it's unrealistic.

Ask yourself why do so few people return to the mountains once they find success in the city? It could be because they developed new class relationships at the city, now there's a conflict between that class and the class they've left at home. That's how Brutal life we've created. Such precarious lifestyle destroys peoples willingness to engage with reality and so they refuse to think, then when trouble comes and there's multiple people drowning who do they choose to save? The one they love the most or the one who needs the most help? You will never know for certain, but through studying, learning, experiencing and work, the more you'll learn the more you will be able to identify the correct path, who to save, who to let go, how to keep your loved ones out of harm's way etc. That's all we can lever hope for, to learn, fail and learn again.

Your post is well reasoned and I think a perfectly healthy way of deliberating over it. I can't speak for your situation but you will absolutely find love/connection/etc in the future, so no reason to worry about that. I certainly wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship with somebody who, after years of political transparency, chooses to "go along to get along." I understand the calculus on her part, although doing so for the sake of a "career" in performance art is totally laughable to me. If she was a junior banker or analyst on Wall Street it would make so much more sense, even if an objectively evil choice.

As for the wider question of why people choose to ignore the reality in front of them, well... I think history demonstrates that the majority of people are passive until material conditions directly affect them. At present she can play pretend, but at some point in the future things will break for her specifically and she may just remember how right you were. Cold comfort, but no use fighting over the They Live glasses if she hasn't put them on yet at this point in your relationship.