We should hang out. I'd rather listen than think about what I'm supposed to say.
this post was submitted on 02 May 2026
3 points (100.0% liked)
ADHD
13400 readers
5 users here now
A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
- Do not request for donations.
- Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
I met a person like this, and married her. It's great. I never have to worry about keeping the conversation going, and can just enjoy being with her and contributing when it's natural for me
It's a skill you can learn. If you're into TTRPGs, I've found that can be a great way to practice, because the format is engaging, and the nature of the game benefits from equal contributions. I try to make characters that focus on setting up other members of the party in different ways. When we're in combat, I try to involve other characters in tactics, and in roleplay, I make an effort to involve everyone at the table. GMing is especially good for this, as you want your party to be doing most of the talking, and you want everyone to be having fun.
As I've played more, and interacted in other casual social situations, I've definitely gotten better at filling an appropriate role in a conversation. I'm the host! It's my job to make sure everyone is comfortable and engaged. Usually that means asking smart questions and getting people onto topics they naturally enjoy, usually to do with their own lives. Shared interests are a bonus (and often the roots of a friendship). And it's something that I can do anywhere, even if I'm not actually hosting the gathering, because it just comes off as being genuine
This looks like a job for fidget toys!
Honestly, such a great tool, you can use your hands while they talk and it is much easier. Also other things like gardening, walking, and so on can fill the same niche. Just have something your body can do while you are listening and it will be easier.
Also, consider having some music in the background, or be playing a game together like a card game or similar to break up the talking.
Maybe also tea and biscuits? Just something to have your hands and mouth occupied and make not talking easier.
Practice makes perfection, two-ways conversations included, I'd say, and it's something that people with ADHD should still be able to learn to do to my understanding.
And while I recommend trying to teach yourself this skill, if you find it too hard, no shame in looking for help.
And having in mind how the conversation can be beneficial past an immediate interest could help making you stick at it for longer too.