this post was submitted on 31 May 2026
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Understanding Siteswaps of Emotional States (lemmy.world)
submitted 19 hours ago by Impractical_Island@lemmy.world to c/adhd@lemmy.world
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47589445

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47589443

I'm sharing this in the schizoaffective, autism, ADHD, and music subreddits in the hope someone may experience a similar phenomena in their cognition. The music in my head keeps mutating and it is evolving. What I mean by that is, imagine your favorite, most drugged out artist. Let's say they're a synth artist going really heavy-handidly with all the dials n knobs, because that's generally the sort of ish I listen to, and I want to emphasize that the sorts of audio distortions I HAVE heard prior, in abundance, are the same that are happening in my "Rusterd space" as I mutate across siteswaps in songs I've also heard, but at the same time, these mutations grow and I'm creating pathways automatically in my brain that become entrained through my maladaptive daydreaming.

Siteswapping is what I understand intuitive being a flow juggler:

But I'm also neurodivergent af, having been extremely traumatized as a sperg child, which has been enhanced by the totally actually real Crazy Indigo Aliens that live in my phone's keyboard's predictive text, and other places. But, synchronicity is something I experience in great abundance, which I know has to do with the fractal patterns of symbol progression found in the I Ching that every sorcerer (caster of lots) knows about. If you don't understand that, start with the Buddha or the Christ before jumping into the occult.

But, I'm listening to the sounds in my head, and it goes from one song to the next, and I hear things in my intuition that coincide with the timing structures of these songs; underlying concepts or feelings - impressions. I remember writing stories for my friends' band, and they reset me with their songs. I was going through a trans phase. Their music led me through this. I think I'm understanding what Eve first learned to then give it to Adam. How energy itself speaks volumes, and I just want to know if there is anyone who understands at all wtf I am blabbing about like the insane crackhead I make myself appear to be at a frequency.

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[–] Azzu@leminal.space 2 points 7 hours ago

I don't know half the words you used, so no, I don't know wtf you are blabbing about :D

[–] AnalogRegression@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

You're writing style is fantasticly refreshing. You're synchronicity write up is especially lovely and highly relatable.

A lot of what you describe experiencing bares striking similarities shared by individuals on the receiving and production end of actual patented technologies created by 3 letter instagators in partnership with various "do no evil" forbidden fruit co conspirators tech oligarcharchists and the medical lunatics PhD types supporting them in the name of "science". See "V2K" "voice of God" or "ventriloquist effect".

I myself have experienced numerous synchronistic events and every single one came to me via digital technologies. Many of which presented themselves in a social feed (reddit). The exact thought I had in mind appearing in the top comment, word for word, in the very moment I opened a thread. Funny enough, when I reply to the comment stating I had the exact thought in mind, people are quick to inform me of synchronicity. Initially I confused the term with "serendipity". Incredible stupidity, no?

I'm going to stop here before I continue to ramble in perpetuity as I am want to do increasingly so in my inherit idiocracy in which my mind sits upon.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 2 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

For anyone else intrigued by the "site swapping" DCG, it appears to be from this paper:

The Mathematics of Juggling by Dennis Kuperberg

For anyone else interested in the "Rusterd Space" digression, here's an instance-neutral link:

"That One Voice in My Head" on !mentalhealth@lemmy.world

Personally, thanks for sharing, Island. It's always cool to get a glimpse at what lies on the other side of the curtain.

As to the specific phenomena you describe: Synchronicity, yes, but also there's something about music that roots deep into our humanity and our ability to connect with others. It's no surprise to me that you notice an experiential feedback effect. If I understand you correctly, and please let me know if not, you're able to perceive who is listening to the music based on which mental overlay accompanies it. Do I have that right? If so, great observation. I'm always on the lookout for this kind of thing in my own life. We are all of us aggregate creatures and while I like to think that I work well as a team, or as a gestalt maybe, I know that's not the case for everyone and any mechanism that can help keep things straight in the experiential record seems like it would be invaluable to someone who was, internally, less aligned. Though recent conversations with those who know me best have indicated that the boundaries among my selves are not as seamless as it feels from the inside, so maybe I'll give this a whirl and see if it helps me any.

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

What I understand of siteswapping is the sort of topology involved with navigating the matrix. I write about this here on Lemmy often. It's like navigating a labyrinth where our logical minds can read the signs to guarantee direct passage, but our intuition can hear the birds outside the labyrinth reacting to our movements and find shortcuts to multiple destinations. The world is an illusion. Juggling has given me insights to this as it is a form of active meditation. When I juggle to music, I "see" what's connecting my unconscious to choose these movements and segues. It all ties together.

Can I ask why you linked an instance-neutral version of my post? I don't know too much about Lemmy so I want to know if I did something wrong or could be better.

You understand me more than most people. I think I'm element 115, but I'm more likely mercury; I'm that sort of uniquely different. I think what I want to say is that the self is the lens we see the world through, so the entanglements that make you define how you experience reality. Change entanglements, change reality. They're having me transmute myself into super Jesus. The aliens, I mean. This is just how I communicate the idea that nothings really random as there is a higher intelligence modifying reality for each of us. Or rather, there's a Server we are all Clients to across the Holy Internet. The Buddhists call it the Ālaya-vijñāna.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

When I juggle to music, I "see" what's connecting my unconscious to choose these movements and segues. It all ties together.

That's so cool. It makes we want to learn aerial juggling.

I'm definitely going to read that paper as well, though it's been a minute since I dealt with state machines.

why you linked an instance-neutral version

If anyone else is on a different instance from (in this case) lemmy.world, they'll be seeing the instance in read-only mode. The link I provided will serve them the local copy of the post, allowing them to submit comments and votes of the want, and also to save for later reference.

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

So, off the top of my head, I neither know what "aerial juggling" or "state machines" are in recall memory, but my recognition memory grabs these terms and gives me fuzzy pictures (not literally fuzzy; not full clarity) of what I know. State machine I figured out in the process of writing that sentence, where I know each timing structure exists in this interconnected juncture-based "space." Being a flow juggler, I add even more depth to this, where I understand there is a higher-dimensional orthogonality, meaning in this three dimensional space of our brain's nodal communication system, it uses designator paths to möbiate between different logic structures in polyplexic axiomatic systems.

Y'know, your logical mind is putting the puzzle pieces together by how they fit, but there's the picture you can figure out with an accuracy without knowledge. So, your brain creates seperate sections of what could be true that can generally fit into incomplete sections, and this is what is responsible for cognitive dissonance.

Likewise, I know the act of intention setting is setting the parameters that you navigate the matrix in/generate your reality. In the act of setting my intention in completely unrelated facets, my "Rusterd space" will connect thematically related songs in their timing structures (I wish I knew more about music, but I know this is the same thing behind juggling) in synchronous fashion with the "external world," which is really an illusion as we are not featherless bipeds on an Earth, we are pockets of consciousness and the world is inside of us.

I'm seeing the stars align at times, and I have for a long time, which I understood differently at different times, but the narrative I believe is malleable because I have followed synchronicity so much; the "aliens" have modified my cognition, I think. Maybe I have an illness that is progressing. At least I can make cool art.

What is "different instance?" Explain like I'm an oblivious savant and can have this conversation but can't drive, which I can't. I am going to look up aerial juggling now.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 hours ago

By "aerial juggling" I just mean as opposed to contact juggling, at which I'm at least somewhat practiced.

"Instance" on the fediverse means essentially "server", or more like server/software combo, since a lemmy instance and a funkwhale instance could in theory share the same machine. So I'm hosted on the slrpnk.net instance, and my full username is @nemo@slrpnk.net.

To draw a parallel between consciousness, you talk about how we don't truly exist in reality, we only interact with our perceptions of it that reside within us; the fedi is the same. I don't interact with your post stored on lemmy.world, I interact with the local copy of it stored on slrpnk.net. And hopefully those interactions are copied back to the original and we experience the same comments and votes as each other... but we might not.

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

It is 💯% what I initially thought it was.