this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] Hiro8811@lemmy.world 48 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago

Well if I recall, some have been released and no one in America seems to care.

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 46 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Of course not. Because it was... it was ...

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 29 points 2 weeks ago

We may use military force

the president’s statements should not have been taken seriously.

I mean, in retrospect it was obvious, it was all a distraction from the trump-epstein files, but fuuuuuuck you

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

Nah, fuck that. Saying shit has consequences Puzder, you boot licking shithead.

"it was just a joke"-ing your diplomacy deserves all of hate

[–] teyrnon@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 weeks ago

This guy's word is worth nothing.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 11 points 2 weeks ago

Like a shoplifter getting caught but actually totally planned on paying for that thing.

Who the fuck cares what they say now. There was no misunderstanding.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ok, so stepsis, wouldn't it be totally wrong if we would... Like... Kiss right now? Hahaha joke... Right? No, I was only joking hahaha, I'm just trying to distract you from the Epstein files. Unless... I mean... If you're into it... We could... Hahaha joke roflmao

[–] lumpyluggage@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Go to your room, George-Michael

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] crispbacon99@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

Unless 😳

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

Trump totally wanted Greenland. It appears he was also super-eager to invade Iran, and needed just a little nudge from MBS and Netanyahu (though mostly from Jared Kushner).

[–] renzhexiangjiao@piefed.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

we've always been at war with eastasia

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Technically Iran is west Asia

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 2 weeks ago

greenland, cuba, iran, venezuela, ICE raids are all epstein distractions. even his falling asleep like a child getting in trouble is one.