I lost my cat about half a year ago. Finally decided to start looking for a new cat and I spend this past weekend visiting several rescues. There were a lot of cats, mostly kittens, available.

I was a bit taken aback at the aggressiveness of some of the staff, who were like pushing and almost arguing with me that i had to have multiple cats and how superior having multiple cat is and it's not responsible to only have one cat. I am really looking for an adult cat, but I'd consider a kitten, but the staff were aggressively insisting I had to take two kittens or a kitten and an adult and didn't really listen to me when I tried to claim my lifestyle isn't really the best for two cats as I travel quite a bit and I can only travel with one cat, they kind of them went sour grapes on me. It was really jarring and off-putting.

Anyway, least to say I didn't really get any one on one time with any cat I was interested in and I walked away disappointed. I put my application in anyway, and now I'm getting voicemails and texts again like pleading for me to take 2-3 kittens or bonded adult pairs. When i reply I'm not looking for a kitten and I already have a dog who would be more than happy to play and be friends with a single cat, they just kind of come back at me insisting no you need two cats. This is across five different shelters this same kind of thing happened.

Is this a new thing? I have adopted cats before and never had I had this experience. Both times I adopted before it was far more laid back and the rescue staff were far less pushy, and I ended up adopted an single adult cat who were surrender for behavior issues I was able to rectify after a few months of focused attention and training, who became amazing animals. This is what I'm looking to do again. I am more than happy to put personal effort in, and it is weird to me the staff are like insisting 'two cats is easier than one'. I don't want easy. I don't see why that is problematic?

Are the shelters just like desperate to get rid of animals now and bullying potential adopters? Or is this another kind of trend like raw dog food, that rescue folks insist on pushing on new prospective pet owners? I had to deal when I adopted my dog a few years ago, there were some dog rescues who were like insisting you had to go on a raw dog food diet and it was... weird and offputting. Nobody was insisting you had to adopt two animals or a puppy or anything.

I will even say I have adopted from two of these rescues before, but I also applied to some new ones who seemed to have some cats who fit my needs, but they all actively steered me away from the cats i asked about and were pushing kittens or adults pairs on me that I had not inquired about.

Would having a dog already in my home also be why they are kinda pushing kittens on me? I understand that might be easier to integrate, but I kinda know what I'm looking for and have introduce animals before very successfully.

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[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I'll just say its super easy for a single cat to get lonely and for you to not be enough to keep it feeling socially engaged or entertained or whatever. They are very much social creatures, even if they dont like each other and obviously they as beggars dont get to be choosers but its something I recommend, even if you have to stagger it out (get used to the workflow with one cat then surprise it with a mate later)

I kind of wish I had been in a circumstance to immediately get a second (my first likely would have been better socialized and less rough in playing which i cant do with her because she goes for blood in the absence or a playmate early) but then my third would not have ended up in the roster so it all works out either way but I do recommend it if they are all neutered/spayed and shots etc are up to date

Try not to take it personally, like yes they want to move cats so theres room for new arrivals and all that but its not a bad idea for the cats' wel-being and taking pressure of you to be its chronic focused entertainer.

There is also a deep joy in watching the two of them develop their own little world between them, seeing them chase each other or compete for shit, and establish their little internal "Pecking Order" that you get to be a fly on the wall for. Its like free AnimalPlanet or some shit haha, little domestic Lions

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Alternatively, you get a second cat and they both hate each other which leads to years of behavioral issues too. I don't think having multiple cats is always the best way to go, especially staggering them out like that. I've had cats my whole life and each one is different. I think if you do plan on having multiple, getting siblings is probably your best bet since they've always known one another, but even then that's no guarantee they'll enjoy eachothers company once they reach adulthood.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I hate to frame it this way but I had this more or less but i know from when the third buffer cat was missing for a night that it still resolved the issue.

When my third cat was missing snd it was onlu the two (who hate each other), it still prevented thr daily lonely yowl (she was spayed so it wasn sexual)

This just isnt the point you think it is. Even if the cats fundamentally dislike each other, there is still a conserved sense or community that prevents them from acting like you have left them all forlorn and alone. Its just my experience

Cats do not see humans as their counterparts in the same way that prevents the likd of expressed lonliness i experienced, even with many toys and a very cat-optimized environment

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Thats honestly mostly a discipline issue. My oldest (first) still occasionally unduly swats or attacks the third most recent but its increasingly rare as everyone ages and I discourage it every time very thoroughly to the point she knows its bullshit that needs to stop.

On the balance, it will almost never be unworth it provided you own and exercise exclusive disciplinary response to each outburst consistently.

They dont have to like or love each other but they can certainly learn to coexist relatively peacefully and ultimately neithher will ever be able to express the loneliness inreferred to previously. There is always another cat, even if they arent crazy about each other for even a good while initially.

Things will balance out, just requires considtency and letting the agressor known its not cool when it happens

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I recently adopted a singular adult cat and the process went very smooth and not pushy or weird at all. I went to a "cat cafe" which essentially showed cats from the local shelter. Maybe that's why my experience was so pleasant.

I did visit an actual shelter prior to that and I didn't have anyone hassling me, but I didn't dive into the adoption process there. Actually, I spoke to one of the employees and told them I was concerned at adopting a pet as a single person who leaves the home to work every day about the pet possibly being lonely when I'm at work. It's funny because he kind of looked at me like I had three heads and was like if you feed it and take care of it, it won't matter. It's still a lot better than them living on the street never being sure where their next meal will come from. It made me feel better about adopting.

[–] GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml 22 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm sorry you've had this experience. Bringing home a new family member should be exciting and fun.

It's hard to answer your question without knowing your location. Even so, different rescues often have different policies, so they'll vary even in the same area.

Not excusing the staff's pushiness here, but it's not uncommon to see rescues only adopting out kittens in multiples. Unlike puppies, having multiple kittens tends to reduce behavior issues and adoption returns. It's generally better for kittens to have a playmate of a similar age or activity level in regards to their development and temperament. Of course every cat and kitten is an individual, and this isn't a hard rule.

That doesn't explain why they're pushing kittens on you when you've expressed interest in adults. Sadly, adoptions are down across the US for both dogs and cats. It's also the thick of kitten season, so this time of year we see more kitten euthanasias than in the winter. It could be desperation and compassion fatigue on the part of the staff.

I wish you the best of luck in finding a wonderful new cat!

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Thanks. If they are going to have to put down kittens, yeah I can understand the desperation. I do feel like they were trying to guilt/shame me a bit, which is manipulative.

To be fair it was really depressing going to the shelters, but I take adoption very seriously and I know the right thing to do is find a cat that integrates with my existing lifestyle and my dog is the highest priority, and am not sure I would enjoy having a kitten, let alone two. Personally I'm not really a puppy/kitten person, my animals are/were all in the 3-5 age range when they were adopted.

The last two cats I adopted had been returned multiple times and it was tremendously rewarding to give them a home where they could be accepted and thrive.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

kitten euthanasias

God i hope this isnt prevalent. Very sad, there needs to be a deferrilization pill 😿

[–] celeste@kbin.earth 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Maybe the area is struggling with a huge kitten influx?

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Yes, one shelter we went to had 50 kittens and like 10 adult cats. The others weren't that bad, but most had about 50/50 kittens to adults. They were all about 80% full and said they had more cats available in fosters and more incoming.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I’m sorry they made you feel so gross. Maybe we can just believe they were trying hard to place as many cats as possible and forgive them just a bit.

[–] GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thank you for saying this. Working in animal welfare is incredibly difficult. I've been on both the rescue side and the municipal shelter side, and each has its different struggles. Seeing people who haven't been active in this fight make blanket statements and judgements about these organizations can get pretty demoralizing.

As frustrating as they can be for adopters, rules and policies surrounding animal adoptions are there for a reason. While we have to find a balance, at the end of the day, the needs of the animals in our care take precedence over the convenience of potential adopters. I've been screamed at for having to get landlord permission before adopting out pets, for requiring all other pets in the home to be up to date on core vaccinations, and even for refusing to let a family meet a dog who was terrified of children (to the point that a bite was very possible) because they had a toddler and a baby. I've been threatened with violence over the years on multiple occasions, have had things thrown at me, and been harassed online just for being a public point of contact for the organization.

This isn't even touching on the emotional toll day to day operations can take. It's hard to go directly from saying goodbye to a beloved resident slated to be euthanized to being positive and cheerful during adoption counseling. Or turning away a pet you know you can help due to lack of space. Or going into a home where the owner had been lying dead on the floor for weeks to hopefully find his traumatized cats alive to trap them and bring them into care. Or going in to hording or fighting situations and extracting animals that look like they've been in a concentration camp. The list is, unfortunately, neverending.

I'm sorry for this getting so long. I guess I needed to vent. It's a really scary time in the animal welfare world right now, I'm starting to feel helpless. The needs are just so great.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

That was a highly illustrative comment and i was about to submit it to r/bestof until I remembered this is Lemmy not Reddit. My mobile app clients look so much the same I make this mistake all the time. Anyway please don’t apologize for adding this vital detail to the discussion. I think it’s extremely important for people not to treat going to the adoption center like walking into fast food and expecting to be treated like royalty because you’re “the customer.•

[–] GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can't tell you how much it means that you took the time to say this. There aren't a lot of "safe" spaces to discuss these kinds of things in detail outside of private compassion fatigue groups online. Most of them are on Facebook, and since stopping that platform I don't have many places or people I can vent to without facing backlash from people who haven't worked in these spaces. You truly lifted my mood. I hope you have a wonderful day!

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Well thank you for your service, and if you want a listening ear message me anytime.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Shelters can be very awkward. They can start all “take take take!” and then flip to “hold your horses there buster” the second you show interest.

We adopted a trio of siblings some 8 years ago and they were over the moon to keep them together, but we paid out the wazoo to do it and had to submit to quite the grilling before they got comfortable that we know cats and would be good to them. Man if only they knew how good we’ve been to them…

But I assume they are just looking out for the animals best interests as much as they can and on top of that have perhaps some attachment of their own after caring for them a while. And on top of THAT it just seems the norm that people who want to work with animals may not be great with people. And a lot of them are volunteers.

I think it’s a good idea to expect it to be awkward. Someone here said it’s just like any other transaction and I violently disagree with that. It’s not like buying a tube of caulk at the hardware store even one bit.

[–] Elting@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago

Never in my life have I been made to feel more out of place than at a shelter. Ended up with a craigslist puppy instead because it was just easier than submitting to their insane scruples. They also steered me heavily towards the cats (which I did not want) and made me feel like a child molester for asking if i could see the dogs.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 2 days ago

I don't get these types of things. Its like any other transaction. Leave. I would not even stick around. I might give tell them a few times to stop pestering me but I won't stick around. Of course if my wife was there she would get on me for being difficult.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh man that reminds me of my recent adoption story.

I went to the rescue to get a new cat because the last one got eaten by coyotes and they wanted to give me two which I wasn't completely unreceptive of but they said if I had two cats I needed at least three litter pans.

I've only ever had one for my cats even if I had one or two but they said I needed one for each cat plus one extra.

After a little back and forth I decided against getting a cat right at that moment but they still insisted I get a litter pan because even with no cats you still need one litter pan.

[–] vala@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Did you need up getting more coyote food or not?

Don't let your cats outside. It's unethical for multiple reasons.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah I need them to keep the mice out of the chicken feed.

[–] GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Many shelters have started working cat programs to place trapped feral cats from communities on farms and other places where they can live comfortably and provide pest control. They often have waived adoption fees, too! Working with one of these programs could be a great option for you to consider.

What they told you about litter boxes is correct for all cats with access to the indoors. Inappropriate urination is one of the main reasons cats are surrendered, and many organizations consider cats with these issues to be unadoptable. This means they're usually euthanized. Of course animal welfare organizations are going to provide all the education and resources they can to combat this, because it directly supports our mission of keeping cats happy, healthy, and in their homes.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 0 points 1 day ago

I did end up getting feral cats to replace the ones that unfortunately became coyote food.