660
Would be the best date in existence
(startrek.website)
The calamari rings are a bit chewy.
OK, standard charcuterie board.... Wait.... Is that weed? And blow? And are those condoms? OhShit. You got gummy worms? I'm down.
Don't forget the coffee beans next to the cheddar
I don’t think chicken nuggets are standard either..
They should be.
You pre open the condoms? That can't be good.
Those are just the display models, so you can smell them.
You have to air them out first and maybe rub some coke on them...
I don’t see any dates on that board.
There are a couple of items I would replace with more cheese
Yeah that coke and weed is taking up some valuable cheese real estate
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The coffee and cocaine is there to counter the side effects of weed and whiskey. Not sure why the condoms are there though because after that much coke weed and whiskey you won't be able to feel your dick anyway.
Sounds like a sequencing issue to me
Not sure why the condoms are there though because after that much coke weed and whiskey you won't be able to feel your dick anyway.
Maybe for you rook. If that is good blow you might be thumbing in a gummy, but you'd feel it just fine.
I don't think those gummy worms are meant for insertion. That could lead to a nasty yeast infection.
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You want a slice of salami after we do a line?
No, that's for after the weed
I love charcuterie. A lot. It’s like my favorite goddamn thing the fancier the better I will start adding drugs though. As a side, my wife calls it “sharp coochie” and thinks she a goddamn comedy genius for it. She looks forward to saying it
That's funny, I like to use "shark coochie"
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with those loose coffee beans but sure!
You put them in a condom, shake wildly, and then lick each coffee bean for extra strawberry flavor
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They should definitely be chocolate covered. I've had those and they're excellent.
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Also, why do we need coffee AND cocaine? I feel like the caffeine is just superfluous at that point.
I hate to be the party pooper, but is that coke or fentanyl?
Its 2023, so it's better not to assume
Coke with fentanyl in it.
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It's a good spread, but it should be sorted into courses so that you're not mixing savory and sweet, uppers and downers, etc. at the same time and not overwhelming your date with choice paralysis.
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Wow, and they said romance was dead!
Are those finger condoms?
They're almost the size of the bottom of the cup how the fuck big do you need it to be?
Needs to fit balls too
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Don't threaten me with a good time.
So is it one dick three times or three dicks one time?
One human and a one Klingon
Yes, in that order
Who just leaves whole-ass nugs of bud out like that? Shit's gonna get dried out.
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The shrinkflation with condoms is next. Wring it out and double on up, folks.
I would only supplement by suggesting both parties wear their respectively gendered condom solution du jour so everyone only has to clean the one side of said condom(s)
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this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2023
660 points (96.2% liked)
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