askchapo

The same as for girls who can’t get a date: everyone wants to date the most attractive people. No one wants to date an ugly person. So those at the bottom of the attractiveness scale for men and women both have a hard time. This applies to more men than women though because guys are generally less picky. So that’s why there’s the whole male incel cryfest culture. Well, That and Patriarchy.

But there’s someone out there for everyone if people would just look past what’s on the outside. Sadly many never learn to do that.

Guys: read bell hooks.

Lack of passive socialization in groups that can carry over to one-on-one outings.

I don't think it's a one-answer fits all type of situation.

It can be everything from anxiety and other mental health issues, otherwise struggling to connect with people, or simply hating women. It's a little bit unfair to lump them all together.

Ooh also, I’m pretty sure I’ve been clocked as “quirky”/ “different” (am autistic) one too many times

That’s another hidden side of this- attraction is complex

People act like getting matches/attention irl based on how you look is the end all be all but it’s just one of many steps to a date.

maybe "Date" is the wrong strategy ..

one can also do X activity .. Y also does X activity ..

you therefore meet Y regulary because of the X activity , things develop from there....

I look at him in the mirror and say: "you need to lose weight and keep going to therapy, instead"

Yes I know it's internalized fatophobia, but I would really appreciate a forehead kiss and being held

Shit if I know, but societally speaking, it does seem like you’re better off in some type of relationship where you’re miserable over not being in one at all

Idk man posts like this make me second guess myself. I have a good network of friends who are always happy if I reach out, but because I don’t have a partnership, I’m inherently less then.

I’m not sure if I’m the type of guy you’re referring to here (I could probably get a date if I got on the apps) but it would blow if I was. Because I don’t know why love/platonic intimacy can’t be shared with multiple people. Honestly, the only thing that makes me feel “down” about my current situation is seeing everyone tell me I need a partner to be complete

+++++++++++++++

demiurge

no one wants to date guys because that's gay. you have to become a girl

oh hey it’s that weird account that keeps making !askchapo@hexbear.net post threads about declining birth rates, I’m sure this thread will be full of normal replies

I don't know. I'm a useless piece of shit? I suck? Idk what I'm doing wrong anymore, probably everything

Either lacking free time, lacking the skills to be normal around women, or lacking the spaces to be normal around women

I'd say im reasonably attractive, fit, and good at casual conversation(i dont think these things but thats probably just the depression making me be down on myself)...

BUT everytime.. litterally every single time i ask someone out, I shove my foot in my mouth so hard I feel like i need to apologize for how awkward it is.. It kind of hurts. Not them saying no, but the fact that I know if i didnt have a crush on the person I could do it without batting an eye.

Aswell as the fact that i live in the country but am also surrounded by hallow capitalist suburbia, that doesnt offer many opportunities to make any sort of meaningful connection with people.

But In the end as long as I keep going ill keep trying, and maybe ill get lucky or already have a close enough connection to were it wont matter.

Personally I'm constantly overworked to the point of not even having the energy to think about the topic, and have been for years.

Probably in the minority with that though.

I can't fix ugly and I'm not a billionaire so I can't live in cities where other 20-somethings are, or pay for expensive workshops to get me jobs there.

Life is for rich, hot people and I am neither.

Bone pressing