crawling on my scalp these nits they will not keel

It feels weird to say but I hate them. I don't know if I Would describe them as painful, but they're definitely uncomfortable. It does not feel right in my chest or my throat. And I hate how irregular the rate at which I inhale/exhale air is when I try to do it slowly. And I can't breathe in/out for as long as I've been instructed to. Ok when I write all that out it kind of sounds like I have a medical problem. But to my knowledge my breathing is fine I passed the test with that thing doctors wear around their neck the stegosaur or whatevr

And somehow I always guess wrong

I'm starting from nothing... essentially just a microwave and a range. I need to know what to stock a tiny studio apartment with. I'm just learning how to cook, so no suggestion is too obvious!

I've been wearing CVS' small surgical mask with an adjustable cloth mask on top bc it's what I had available. but I;m getting anxious with the amount of exposure I'm forced to have recently, so I want to upgrade when I get paid. I've had 3M Aura Particulate Respirator 9205+ (is this the same thing as n95?) in my bookmarks for a long time, are they good and do they fit small people? what else should I consider? I would prefer something reusable/low waste but effectiveness is a bigger priority... i am too fried to research what works and what does not and to what degree especially with all the covid misinformation out there so thank yall knowledgeable people in advance

I turn 22 this year. I want a job. I have never applied for a job. I know that it does not matter if I embarrass myself in front of an interviewer or if I quit in the first week or get fired. I am still afraid. I wish I could get paid to roll around in mud and have tomatoes thrown at me. This would probably feel less shameful.

This isn't a claim I've seen made by anyone, I'm just wary about it due to the common depiction of Hell being (at least I've heard) contrary to Jewish faith. Death to Israel, of course, but if my peers are being antisemitic while criticizing it I don't want to let that slide.

e: thank you for your responses!