I just want somewhere that won't even show me new episodes until an unghosted version is released. I primarily watch anime for the animation, so blurred and darkened frames really ruin it for me.

(TL;DR): I love being terrified, and this has led me to a fascination with imagining being a witness to / a victim of various tragedies. Is that weird?

The earliest example I can remember of wanting to know what it was like to be a victim of a tragedy was when I first learned what happened on 9/11. We were visiting my grandma, and she was watching a documentary about it. That's the first time I had seen the footage and heard an explanation of it all, and I was still a child (like way too young to be processing what I was seeing), but I was fascinated by it. Even after everyone had left the room to hang out on the porch, I stayed in the living room to watch more. I wanted to know everything, but most of all I wanted to know what it was like to be there. Both as a witness and a victim.

To this day, I would pay good money to get hooked up to something like Roy from Rick and Morty so I could safely experience it without knowing I was safe. And I'd like to choose as many perspectives as I want. From the hijackers, to the people on the directly impacted floors, the people on floors adjacent to the impact, the people who jumped, the people who were outside and witnessed the crashes and collapses, the people who were trapped on the upper floors and remained inside during the collapse...

Besides 9/11, others at the top of the list are things like mass shootings, earthquakes and other natural disasters, catastrophic workplace accidents (mostly explosions), the sinking of the Titanic, Hiroshima/nuclear testing sites, other war related events, various atrocities committed by/against mankind (like the torture committed by the CIA against people suspected of being involved in the 9/11 attacks), the Heaven's Gate mass suicide, a significant portion of Charles Manson's life... It's a mix of wanting the experience and curiosity about the stories/information that never made it into public knowledge.

I don't have a death wish or anything, it's just for some reason I have a fascination with terror. I love getting sleep paralysis and having nightmares, and I feel a weird sense of catharsis when I wake up and realize I'm safe. My favorite ones are when I'm utterly convinced I'm going to die. Even as a kid I loved terrifying shows (like Courage the Cowardly Dog and Mr.Meaty), and as a teenager it evolved into broader consumption of surrealist art, and then I started watching Live Leak videos where I got a more realistic sense of terror. I watched all of the Bjork stalker's tapes, which, if you aren't familiar, they end with him shooting himself after mailing a letter bomb to her. Knowing he filmed his suicide was what piqued my interest, but I also wanted to get into his head so I started from tape #1.

How weird is all of this? Any psychological explanations/speculations about why I'm like this? (And are there any other subs I should ask this in?)

Unusual kind of post but still religious cringe:

After I finished helping someone I said "have a good day" and walked away, but then she said "you see no god?" Which was confusing before I realized what she was talking about lol. After a second I said "oh yeah haha, I thought it was cute." And she responds with "well I have a good god."

I just said "okay" and walked away again. But I wish I would've asked her if she seriously thought I worshiped a dog with a cone on its head lol.

This is the third time I've gotten a negative comment on my shirt at work. I'm not even anti-religion, I just thought a dog that had to get a cone juxtaposed with him saying he's a god was funny.

TL;DR: Some people who buy cigs from me expect me to remember their orders when I don't, and when they do it repeatedly I remember them because they're an asshole but I pretend that I don't. AITA?

I work at a gas station kiosk, and obviously I have a LOT of "regulars"... I remember a lot of them, but some people just walk up to my window and say something like "it's me again" and stare at me, as if I know who they are or what they want. A lot of them will do this repeatedly, and I end up remembering their order anyways because of how much of an asshole they are. That's when I pretend not to remember, even if it's the 100th time.

The newest one doesn't speak English, but this is the third time where this exact sequence played out:

He walks up to my window and says "one cigarette", to which I reply "which ones?" He says "lucky" so I grab regular Lucky Strikes, and he says "nonono" and points as if I can accurately judge what he's pointing to from that far away. After that doesn't work, he says "gold", so obviously I grab gold Lucky Strikes, and then he goes "no. no." again. He starts pointing again, and I still don't know what he's pointing at, so he makes a motion to indicate "the one to the right of that one." ...

He wants Lucky gold 100's, and at this point the only reason I remember his order is because he can't be fucked to remember how to say "hundreds". He'll say "lucky golds" after a lot of prying, so I don't think he should get a pass because of the language barrier.

This is the third time he's come up to my window and done this. I remember his cigarettes now, but next time I'm probably going to do the whole song and dance again. Me having your order before you get to the window is for people I remember, not for people who I remember because they can't be fucked to tell me what they want. AITA?